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Quote by Esther Perel

“The attraction of dating is that you don't take yes for granted - - you're fully engaged, there's seductiveness, tension.”

Quote by Esther Perel

Author

Esther Perel is a renowned author and therapist known for her profound insights into couple relationships and sexual psychology. Her work delves into the complexities of modern marriage, love, and sex, offering readers a unique perspective. more

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“In committed sex, in marriage, people don't feel the need to seduce or to build anticipation - - that's an effort they think they no longer need to do now that they have conquered their partner. If they're in the mood, their partner should be too.”

People Ifs Thinking Needs Feels Should Sex Effort Committed Partners Mood Anticipation Seducing

Author:Esther Perel

“You know what happens to sex in marriage? Instead of inviting desire, you monitor it. Especially men: You let her sleep late, you take the kids to the park, and all that time you're thinking, "Tonight I'll get some." That doesn't work.”

Thinking Knows Men Happens Kids Desire Sex Sleep Late Parks Tonight Inviting Sleep Late

Author:Esther Perel

“The mom doesn't become sexy; the woman does. You have to retrieve the woman from the mother. And she may need to separate to do that: a bath, a walk. She must cordon off an erotic space.”

Needs May Doe Mother Space Walks Mom Sexy Erotic Baths

Author:Esther Perel

“Women - - and men - - need to understand that a woman's transition is often much longer. The caretaker must leave the place of orientation to the needs of others to the place where she focuses on herself.”

Men Needs Men And Women Transition Orientation Needs Of Others Caretakers

Author:Esther Perel

“There's something very full in knowing that your partner accepts you as is.”

Accepting Knowing Partners

Author:Esther Perel

“Acceptance doesn't mean predictability. Sex isn't always for 11 at night - - it's also 'meet at a hotel room at noon'. What you feel during dating can exist at home, if you don't suffocate it.”

Ifs Feels Mean Home Night Sex Rooms Acceptance Dating Hotel Noon Hotel Rooms Predictability

Author:Esther Perel

“People cheat on each other in a hundred different ways: indifference, emotional neglect, contempt, lack of respect, years of refusal of intimacy. Cheating doesn't begin to describe the ways that people let each other down.”

People Way Years Different Emotional Hundred Intimacy Indifference Different Ways Cheating Neglect Contempt Cheat Refusal Lack Of Respect

Author:Esther Perel

“Affairs can be powerful detonators. They can invigorate a marriage that's flat, jolt people out of years of complacency. Fear of loss rekindles desire, makes people have conversations they haven't had in years, takes them out of their contrived illusion of safety.”

People Years Desire Loss Powerful Havens Conversation Illusion Safety Affair Flats Complacency

Author:Esther Perel

“On some level we trade passion for security, that's trading one illusion for another. It's a matter of degree. We can't live in constant fear, but we can't live without any. The fear of loss is essential to love.”

Matter Passion Loss Levels Security Essentials Degrees Illusion Trade Constant Trading

Author:Esther Perel

“In desire, there must be some small amount of tension. And that tension comes with the unknown, the unpredictable. You can close yourself off at home and say, "Whew, at last I'm in a place where I don't have to worry," or you can keep yourself open to the mystery and elusiveness of your partner.”

Home Lasts Desire Worry Mystery Amount Partners Tension Unpredictable Losing Yourself Small Amounts Elusiveness

Author:Esther Perel