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Quote by Dr. Deborah Hecker

“When your partner overreacts 1st try to understand their “hot spot” before overreacting; otherwise you lose your ability to think clearly, communicate effectively and the cycle continues.”

Quote by Dr. Deborah Hecker

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Dr. Deborah Hecker

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“Studies show that girls - especially smarter ones - have severe problems in the area of self-confidence. They consistently underestimate their own ability. When asked how they think they'll do on different tasks - whether the tasks are untried or ones they've encountered before - they give lower estimates than boys do, and in general underestimate their actual performance as well. One study even showed that the brighter the girl, the less expectations she has of being successful at intellectual tasks. (...) Low self-confidence is the plague of many girls, and it leads to a host of related problems. Girls are highly suggestible and tend to change their minds about perceptual judgments if someone disagrees with them. They set lower standards for themselves. While boys are challenged by difficult tasks, girls try to avoid them. (...) Given her felt incompetence, it's not surprising that the little girl would hotfoot it to the nearest Other and cling for dear life. (...) As we can see, the problems of excessive dependence follow female children right into adulthood.”

FeminismDependencePatriarchyGender RolesMale PrivilegeCinderella ComplexEmotional DependenceFemale Socialization
Book:The Cinderella Complex: Women's Hidden Fear of Independence
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“Other victims of neurotic dependency are battered wives. The fact that they are so often financially dependent upon the men who beat them makes for a vicious kind of entrapment. It's emotional dependency, though that puts a double lock on the trap. "There's a kind of panic that many women have about being able to make it in any way other than being dependent on their husbands (...) They've been taught their whole lives that they can't. It's a conditioning process." In situations in which they have no effect on their environments, animals begin to give up. (...) the same thing happens to humans. Stay long enough in a situation in which you feel you have no control, and you will simply stop responding. It's called learned helplessness. (...) Having been "shaped" to believe there is nothing she can do about the situation, the battered wife goes on being battered.Only after she begins to disengage from her belief in her own helplessness can she break out of the vicious cycle of dependency and its brutal effect on her life.”

WomenFeminismPatriarchyGender RolesViolence Against WomenDomestic AbuseMale PrivilegeCinderella ComplexEmotional DependenceFemale SocializationFinancial Dependence
Book:The Cinderella Complex: Women's Hidden Fear of Independence
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