Quote by Alan Bennett

“May 1976. I have had some manure delivered for the garden and, since the manure heap is not far from the van, Miss S. is concerned that people passing might think the smell is coming from there. She wants me to put a notice on the gate to the effect that the smell is the manure, not her. I say no, without adding, as I could, that the manure actually smells much nicer. I am working in the garden when Miss B., the social worker, comes with a boxful of clothes. Miss S. is reluctant to open the van door, as she is listening to 'Any Answers', but eventually she slides on her bottom to the door of the van and examines the clothes. She is unimpressed. MISS S.: I only asked for one coat. MISS B.: Well, I brought three just in case you wanted a change. MISS S.: I haven't got room for three. Besides, I was planning to wash this coat in the near future. That makes four. MISS B.: This is my old nursing mac. MISS S.: I have a mac. Besides, green doesn't suit me. Have you got the stick? MISS B.: No. That's being sent down. It made to be made specially. MISS S.: Will it be long enough? MISS B.: Yes. It's a special stick. MISS S.: I don't want a special stick. I want an ordinary stick. Does it have a rubber thing on?”

Quote by Alan Bennett