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BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm presents: Two Ducks Brawling Is A Pre-Pillow Fight

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Jarod Kintz

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“I feigned sleep until my mother left for school, but even my eyelids didn't shut out the light. They hung the raw, red screen of their tiny vessels in front of me like a wound. I crawled between the mattress and the padded bedstead and let the mattress fall across me like a tombstone. It felt dark and safe under there, but the mattress was not heavy enough. It needed about a ton more weight to make me sleep.”

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“I hadn't slept for seven nights. My mother told me I must have slept, it was impossible not to sleep in all that time, but if I slept, it was with my eyes wide open, for I had followed the green, luminous course of the second hand and the minute hand and the hour hand of the bedside clock through their circles and semi-circles, every night for seven nights, without missing a second, or a minute, or an hour.”

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“I was playing a lot of sports, and that actually changes dopamine signaling in the brain, which helps make life more enjoyable. And going to class not only altered the habit circuit in my brain, but it also meant that I had to spend some time out in the sun on my way to and from classes, which boosted my serotonin and regulated electrical activity in my brain during sleep.”

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“Getting a massage is also a great way to relax your muscles. Massage reduces pain, stress, and anxiety, and it improves sleep. The wide-ranging effects likely result from the fact that massage boosts your serotonin and dopamine levels and decreases cortisol. Sometimes it’s even helpful to give yourself a massage with a tennis ball by lying on it, leaning against it, or rolling it firmly against your muscles. It probably doesn’t have all the same effects as getting a massage from a person, but it’s cheap and quick, and it can still feel great.”

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“Have you ever had a prophetic dream about my duck farm being as successful in the future as The Spicy Chicken Sandwich? No? Well, try harder! For better results, sleep longer.”

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Book:One Out of Ten Dentists Agree: This Book Helps Fight Gingivitis. Maybe Tomorrow I’ll Ask Nine More Dentists.: A BearPaw Duck And Meme Farm Production
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