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Quote by Rebecca Wells

“There is the truth of history, and there is the truth of what a person remembers. As {she} sat at the edge of {the lake}, memory blossoms floated unbounded, as though breathed, no words spoken. Like birds that fly across national borders, between countries at war at each other.”

Quote by Rebecca Wells

Book:Little Altars Everywhere
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Little Altars Everywhere

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Author

Rebecca Wells
Rebecca Wells

Rebecca Wells is an American author born in 1952. Her works often focus on family, love, and the growth of women, and are well-received by readers. more

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“My multifaceted canary in the coal mine signaling the impulse to control is my belly tightening, my posture changing slightly to lean forward, tension increasing in my upper arms. It feels as though I am preparing to thrust myself into the middle of the problem with everything I know. It comes from a good-hearted place of wanting to relieve suffering and also diminishes interpersonal safety as my system enters mild to medium sympathetic arousal. If we take a step back, we might become curious about how the neuroception of danger arose in the first place, because that is what initiates this chain of events. If we were to explore this, many answers might come: We have been trained to intervene; we don't have any experience that tells us our patient's systems are trustworthy guides to healing; the upset in our patient is severe enough that we fear for her safety; if we can't heal this person, there's something wrong with us; strong emotions are uncomfortable for us and we need to regulate them before they overwhelm us. The list is endless, individual and likely changes with each new circumstance. It is always a most valuable inquiry, especially if we can begin it with compassionate curiousity, which makes it less likely that we will feel shamed by the answer that presents itself. When we remember that neuroception is an automatic adaptive process, it may take character condemnation out of the equation when we invite awareness of what frightens us. If our fear feels heard and acknowledged, there is some likelihood that our bodies will be able to find their way back toward receptivity. As we feel our own openness returning, we can be certain that this embodied change is also influencing our patient and the quality of the connection.”

CompassionEmpathyPerson CenteredSafe PresencePolyvagal TheorySelf Compassion For TherapistsSelf Care For TherapistsSupport For TherapistsTherapy Case StudyAutonomic Nervous System
Book:The Heart of Trauma: Healing the Embodied Brain in the Context of Relationships
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“Pause for reflection Let's take a moment to see if we remember a time when a process that had begun simply stopped, faded away, or became unavailable in some other way. It could be in our own therapy work or with our patients. What as our experience of this? We might check in with muscles, belly, heart, and breath as a beginning place. Then we can move to the feelings and thoughts that arose from these sensations. Do we feel at ease with these kinds of experiences, or does it feel as if something is wrong? We may find that other examples come to our awareness as well, bringing similar or different cascades of sensation, feeling and thought. As best we can, we may offer all of them welcome with warmth and kindness.”

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Book:The Heart of Trauma: Healing the Embodied Brain in the Context of Relationships
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“Annabelle and I ate mussels on the back deck and drank beers until we were toasted. Laughed our asses off remembering these people in our classes and those stupid parties where literary people try so hard to be literary people. Cool superiority as a mask for overflowing insecurity. 'Every time I see people in social circumstances like that, I can't help but imagine them in junior high, worrying about who they're going to eat lunch with,' Annabelle had said, and I always thought about that later. You see a person's inner thirteen-year-old and you won't look at them the same way again.”

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“Life’s intrinsic nature is magical and beautiful. But you will discover that magic and beauty only when you learn to embrace pain. Now, you can’t negotiate with pain – it comes unannounced and uninvited; you can’t postpone it either. So, you simply have to accept it. When you embrace pain, Life reveals its true Self to you – of how compassionate it is, giving you what you need most – including your pain – so that you can grow and evolve. So that you learn to be happy despite your circumstances. So that you live fully, happily, with what is…”

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“The majority of research-related articles I read move automatically towards suggestions for doing something to the brain - finding new medications, applying techniques to train the brain, and other ways of treating the brain like an object that is separate from ourselves. In addition to this objectification, there is perhaps the greater danger that when we are viewing ourselves or another that way, we have already stepped away from being truly present, so the person being so scrutinized will not feel safe or have a felt sense of being heard, seen, or held. This includes our relationship with ourselves.”

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Book:The Heart of Trauma: Healing the Embodied Brain in the Context of Relationships
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