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Who Am I? Dissociative Identity Disorder Survivor

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Angel Ploetner

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“Identity Confusion in Patients With DID We can locate the identity confusion characteristic of DID in the middle-to-upper range of severity. Identity confusion is a significant factor in DID, when an environment created and sustained by one personality conflicts with the expectations of another personality who is not prepared to function in this alternate environment.”

Dissociative Identity DisorderDissociationMultiple PersonalitiesAlter PersonalitiesDissociative PartsIdentity Confusion
Book:Handbook for the Assessment of Dissociation: A Clinical Guide
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“Interviewer: Have you ever felt as if there was a struggle going on inside of you as to who you really are? Patient: Yes, for years, and I still can't find out who the fuck am I, man. Excuse my language, doctor. I don't know who the fuck l am. Interviewer: What do you mean by that? Patient: Who is [A.B.]? Who the fuck am I? I don't know. I don't know who I am. I really don't know who I am. I look at the rest of my family and I say, "I ain't part of this family, man, this can't be. They're all different than me. They also look alike, but they look different to me." (SCID-D interview, unpublished transcript) As the preceding example indicates, the theme of puzzlement is characteristic of patients at all levels of educational achievement and verbal ability. The clinician should be alert to the presence of this theme in the self-descriptions of all patients endorsing dissociative symptoms, not just in those of patients who completed a college degree or who are accustomed to introspection and self-analysis.”

IntrospectionDissociative Identity DisorderIdentity CrisisAlter PersonalitiesDissociative PartsIdentity ConfusionDissociative SymptomsDepersonalization DisorderPuzzlement
Book:Handbook for the Assessment of Dissociation: A Clinical Guide
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“People with DID often experience conflicting advice or opinions emanating from their alter personalities. Individual alter personalities may have coherent, consistent identities, but, taken as a group, the incompatible internal personalities generate an atmosphere of conflict as well as incoherence. As one patient described it, "Do you know how hard it is to get a hundred and four minds to come together to a single decision?”

Dissociative Identity DisorderAlter PersonalitiesDissociative DisorderIdentity QuotesInternal ConflictInner StruggleIdentity ConfusionInternal Struggle
Book:Handbook for the Assessment of Dissociation: A Clinical Guide
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“Identity is not the face, Identity is not the trait, Neither is it the success pace, Nor is it the personality grace. Let alone it being your cliché phrase, Or did you think, It’s some religious faith? My child, it’s alarming that it’s none, It’s even not tongue, Then how can it be, what problems you have overcome And the person you have become! This confused the little girl, and she was amidst a complex whirl, of thoughts, ideas and questions…. What is it then, Father? You have declined already, all that mattered. I can think no more, of what makes an individual’s identity? Help me through, Help me carefully. (Poem: Identity, Book: Ginger and Honey)”

IdentityIdentity Confusion
Book:Ginger and Honey
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“Identity confusion... is as if somebody lost their mental road map and has no appreciation of who they are or what is going on in their life. They may know they know but become blustered or baffled as to why they don't. The information is inaccessible and likely would remind a person about things that have gone on in their life that are simply unacceptable and unknowable, in a given moment, because of the emotional gravity involved.”

UnbearableDissociative AmnesiaDissociative DisordersFugueUnknowableIdentity Confusion
Book:Intensive Psychotherapy for Persistent Dissociative Processes: The Fear of Feeling Real
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“I see." Gamache lowered his voice, though all could still hear the words. "When I was Chief Superintendent, I had a framed poster in my office. On it were the last words of a favorite poet, Seamus Heaney. Noli timere. It's Latin. Do you know what it means?" He looked around the room. "Neither did I," he admitted when no one spoke. "I had to look it up. It means 'Be Not Afraid.' His eyes returned to the unhappy young agent. "In this job you'll have to do things that scare you. You might be afraid, but you must be brave. When I ask you to do something, you must trust there's a good reason. And I need to trust that you will do it. D'accord?”

GamacheNoli Timere
Book:A Better Man
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