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Heidi Raines

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“The very first element for having control over others is, of course, to have control over oneself. If I cannot take charge of myself, I cannot take charge of others. The next, perhaps, is—not to try to "seem" anything, but to be what we would seem. A person in charge must be felt more than she is heard—not heard more than she is felt. She must fulfil her charge without noisy disputes, by the silent power of a consistent life, in which there is no seeming, and no hiding, but plenty of discretion. She must exercise authority without appearing to exercise it.”

“My hope is that by sharing my story, along with the continuing adventure to gain some sense of equilibrium, those of you who have also survived violence won’t feel quite so alone on your journey. A community of survivors is a brave place to start the healing process, and sadly, for many, that community is difficult, if not impossible, to find.”

“Oh well, at least I'll get a 90 minute break until the next feed. That's when my lactation consultant delivered the real tit-punch. The every-90-minute stopwatch does not start from the end of one feeding. It starts from: the beginning. I've never been great at math but if you're supposed to feed a baby every 90 minutes from the moment they start eating, and the feeding takes 90 minutes, then you are feeding a baby every minute of every hour of every 24 hour day. If I could've fainted when I heard this news I would have, but since I was already dead, I couldn't. I was in a very real sense being eaten alive.”

“...she saw that, as a patient drew near to the terminal stage of an illness, far from there being 'nothing more we can do', there was a great deal more to be done: bring comfort in relaxed surroundings, look after the physical, emotional and spiritual well-being of the patient, give medical care if possible, but if not, meticulous nursing in the last stages of life.”

“Would you like some laudanum?” she said directly. “No,” he answered through clenched teeth. “You make me feel very guilty for getting Mrs. Dodge to stop giving it to you,” Arabella confessed. “I’ve seen what can happen to a man who uses such things too freely,” John said resolutely. “There was a man in our town–” he broke off, stifling a groan. “It doesn’t matter - I don’t want the stuff, that’s all.”