“When there’s a gap between what I’m thinking and what I’m saying, it’s because the words coming out of my mouth are the only ones I can access at that time.”
“Don't let a Narcissist, or any other kind of vampire, get away with nonverbal disapproval. Unspoken communication has much more power than mere words because it is ambiguous. If a Narcissist says you did something wrong, you can at least disagree. If he only hints at it, you are left wondering if what you're seeing really means what you think it does, or if the whole thing is somehow your fault, or whatever else you might be imagining. ... Translate rather than pointing the finger. This is the tricky part because it is subtle, but it will make all the difference. An unsubstantiated accusation of an internal state, like, "You're bored," invites defensiveness. A translation, like, "You keep looking at the clock; I'm assuming you're bored," is much harder to deny. A Histrionic might try, but other kinds of vampires will have to concede that they are indeed looking at the clock.”
Source: Emotional Vampires: Dealing With People Who Drain You Dry
“I do listen. I just wait for the words to stop and your eyes to speak.”
Source: Slaying Dragons: Quotes, Poetry, & a Few Short Stories for Every Day of the Year
“Be brave enough to walk away from the people who don't treat you right.”
“In every shared glance, a story of love unfolds.”
Source: Beyond the Bouquet: A Symphony of Love in Fifty Movements
“93/7 Rule: 93% of communication occurs through nonverbal behavior & tone; only 7% of communication takes place through the use of words.”
Source: Overcoming Fake Talk: How to Hold REAL Conversations that Create Respect, Build Relationships, and Get Results
“As proof that HOW we see things matters, Gen. Montgomery took a preprepared text that had been deemed an innocuous complement to his American troops and delivered it in such a way that his condescension prompted more division than unity.”
Source: Eisenhower in War and Peace
“[Evolutionary selection pressures for general communication] explain why humans are peculiar in having our rather small irises set against a white background—the sclera—in our eyes. Anyone watching us can infer where we are looking or whom we are looking at. Experiments with apes and infants show that apes watch the orientation of the heads of others while human infants watch the eyes.”
Source: The Secret of Our Success: How Culture Is Driving Human Evolution, Domesticating Our Species, and Making Us Smarter
“The things you say, the things you don't say, the things you do, or the things you don't do are always sending a loud message to those around you. What kind of a message are you sending? Is it a true reflection of who you are?”
Source: Successful Failures: Recognizing the Divine Role That Opposition Plays in Life's Quest for Success
“...and even now I still can't "do" a real conversation. I have no problem reading books aloud and singing, but as soon as I try to speak with someone, my words just vanish.”
Source: The Reason I Jump: the Inner Voice of a Thirteen-Year-Old Boy with Autism