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(No Matter the Wreckage) [By: Kay, Sarah] [Mar, 2014]

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Sarah Kay
Sarah Kay

Sarah Kay, born in June 1988, is an accomplished American poet known for her heartfelt and thought-provoking poetry. Her work has gained widespread acclaim for its genuine emotion and profound insight. more

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“I don't know if I can do this. Rhys went quiet for a moment. Do you want me to come with you? To paint? I'd be an excellent nude model. I smiled, not caring that I was by myself in the street with countless people streaming past me. My hood concealed most of my face, anyway. You'll forgive me if I don't feel like sharing the glory that is you with anyone else. Perhaps I'll model for you later, then. A sensuous brush down the bond that had my blood heating. It's been a while since we had paint involved. The cabin and kitchen table flashed into my mind, and my mouth went a bit dry. Rogue.”

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“Tamlin answered the door himself. I wasn't sure what to remark on: the haggard male before me, or the dark house behind him. An easy mark. Too easy of a mark, to mock the once-fine clothes desperate for a wash, the shaggy hair that needed a trim. The empty manor, not a servant in sight, no Solstice decorations to be found. The green eyes that met mine weren't the ones I was accustomed to, either. Haunteed and bleak. Not a spark. It would be a matter of minutes to fillet him, body and soul. To finish what had undoubtedly started that day Feyre had called out silently at their wedding, and I had come. But- peace. We had peace within our sights. I could rip him apart after we'd attained it.”

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“You brought every bit of this upon yourself,' I said, my voice still soft. I didn't need to yell to convey my rage. I never had. 'You won,' he spat, sitting forward. 'You got your mate. Is that not enough?' 'No.' The word echoed through the library. 'You nearly destroyed her. In every way possible.' Tamlin bared his teeth. I bared mine back, temper be damned. Let some of power rumble through the room, the house, the grounds. 'She survived it, though. Survived you. And you still felt the need to humiliate her, belittle her. If you meant to win her back, old friend, that wasn't the wisest route.' 'Get out.' I wasn't finished. Not even close. 'You deserve everything that has befallen you. You deserve this pathetic, empty house, your ravaged lands. I don't care if you offered that kernel of life to save me, I don't care if you still love my mate. I don't care that you saved her from Hybern, or a thousand enemies before that.' The words poured out, cold and steady. 'I hope you live the rest of your miserable life alone here. It's a far more satisfying end than slaughtering you.' Feyre had once arrived at the same decision. I'd agreed with her then, still did, but now I truly understood.”

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“I'm not afraid of them.' 'I know you're not.' 'I just- being near them, together...' She shoved her hands into her pockets. 'It's probably what it feels like for you to be around Tamlin.' 'If it's any consolation, cousin, I behaved rather poorly the other day.' 'Is he dead?' 'No.' 'Then I'd say you controlled yourself admirably.' I laughed. 'Bloodthirsty of you, Mor.' She shrugged, again watching the river. 'He deserves it.”

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“You brought weapons to Solstice?' I asked, leaning against the door frame. ... Cassian shrugged, plopping onto the bed, which was better suited to a child than an Illyrian warrior. 'Some might be gifts.' 'And the rest?' Cassian toed off his boots and leaned against the headboard, folding his arms behind his head as his wings draped to the floor. 'The females bring their jewelry. I bring my weapons.' 'I know a few females in this house who might take offense to that.' Cassian offered me a wicked grin in response.”

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“I have no idea where you might hang it," I said, "but I wanted you to have it." To see. For on that painting, I'd shown him what I had not revealed to anyone. What the Ouroboros had revealed to me: the creature inside myself, the creature full of hate and regret and love and sacrifice, the creature that could be cruel and brave, sorrowful and joyous. I gave him me - as no one but him would ever see me. No one but him would ever understand.”

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