Quotessence
Home / Quotes / Quote by Dr. Thomas Gordon

Quote by Dr. Thomas Gordon

“ACTIVE LISTENING OBVIOUSLY REQUIRES THE RECEIVER TO SUSPEND HIS OWN THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS IN ORDER TO ATTEND EXCLUSIVELY TO THE MESSAGE OF THE CHILD. IT FORCES ACCURATE RECEIVING; IF THE PARENT IS TO UNDERSTAND THE MESSAGE IN TERMS OF THE CHILD’S MEANING, HE MUST PUT HIMSELF INTO THE CHILD’S SHOES (INTO HIS FRAME OF REFERENCE, INTO HIS WORLD OF REALITY), AND HE CAN THEN HEAR THE MEANING INTENDED BY THE SENDER. THE “FEEDBACK” PART OF ACTIVE LISTENING IS NOTHING MORE THAN THE PARENT’S ULTIMATE CHECK ON THE ACCURACY OF HIS LISTENING, ALTHOUGH IT ALSO ASSURES THE SENDER (CHILD) THAT HE HAS BEEN UNDERSTOOD WHEN HE HEARS HIS OWN “MESSAGE” FED BACK TO HIM ACCURATELY.”

Quote by Dr. Thomas Gordon

Create image

Author

Dr. Thomas Gordon

Browse famous quotes and profile details for Dr. Thomas Gordon. more

You May Also Like

“Active Listening facilitates problem-solving by the child. We know that people do a better job of thinking a problem through and toward a solution when they can “talk it out” as opposed to merely thinking about it. Because Active Listening is so effective in facilitating talking, it helps a person in his search for solutions to his problems. Everybody had heard such expressions as “Let me use you as a sounding board” or “I’d like to kick this problem around with you” or “Maybe it would help me to talk it out with you.”

EmpathyParentingActive ListeningProblem Solving Techniques
Author:Dr. Thomas Gordon
Create image

“Active Listening “keeps the ball with the child.” When parents respond to their kids’ problems by Active Listening, they will observe how often kids start thinking for themselves. A child will start to analyze his problem on his own, eventually arriving at some constructive solutions. Active Listening encourages the child to think for himself, to find his own diagnosis of his problem, to discover his own solutions. Active Listening conveys trust, while messages of advice, logic, instruction, and the like convey distrust by taking over the problem-solving responsibility from the child. Active Listening is therefore one of the most effective ways of helping a child become more self-directing, self-responsible, and independent.”

ListeningEmpathyParentingActive Listening
Author:Dr. Thomas Gordon
Create image

“Active Listening influences the child to be more willing to listen to the parents’ thoughts and ideas. It is a universal experience that when someone will listen to one’s own point of view, it is then easier to listen to his. Children are more likely to open themselves up to receive their parents’ messages if their parents first hear them out. When parents complain that their kids don’t listen to them, it’s a good bet that the parents are not doing an effective job of listening to the kids.”

EmpathyParentingActive Listening
Author:Dr. Thomas Gordon
Create image

“I can summon cognitive empathy, but it requires a great focus and a reminder, that others expect certain emotional responses from people in certain situations. [...] I argue, that wether my empathy comes from my heart or my brain should not matter as long as the other person feels validated. Does the mechanism that gets me there really matter if the end result is the one that is desired?”

EmpathyPsychopathy
Book:A Tale of Two Masks: A Transgender Psychopath’s Search for Realization and Restraint
Create image