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Corny Thanksgiving Jokes to Tickle Your Funny Bone

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Linda Bozzo

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“Fun Fact: Albert Einstein, considered by many to be the smartest man ever, was a Democratic socialist like Bernie and Zohran Mamdani. Einstein agreed with Karl Marx, that capitalism is a corrupt system that brings out the worst in people and allows greedy robber barons to exploit the working class.”

“Trenton got up and made for the bathroom. On the way he paused to put a record on the gramophone. He loved music first thing in the morning and his good friend Fred Astaire was a particular favourite. As he stepped into the bath, he began to sing along. ‘Da da da da da da…I’m putting’ on my top hat, tying up my white tie, brushing’ off my tails.”

“Dervishes died as the bullets smacked into them, but the rest never even thought of pausing. In a society where bravery and reputation counted for much more than mere wealth, the warrior creed drove them forward. Ancient blades flashed in the sunlight and swung again, now covered in fresh blood. In short order the ground was littered with torn and mangled Egyptian corpses and the battle was over.”

“Nine out of ten dentists recommend my duck-soup-flavored toothpaste. Finally, a toothpaste that was designed to be paired with orange juice. It also goes well with red wine, if you like to start your morning off that way.”