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Quote by Gift Gugu Mona

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A Manual for Victory

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Gift Gugu Mona

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“This has gone on longer than I anticipated, but I know what it feels like to lose someone you love. To feel as if you're left behind, or like your life is in shambles and there's no guidebook to tell you how to stitch it back together. But time will slowly heal you, as it is doing for me. There are good days and there are difficult days. Your grief will never fully fade; it will always be with you -- a shadow you carry in your soul -- but it will become fainter as your life becomes brighter. You will learn to live outside of it again, as impossible as that may sound. Others who share your pain will also help you heal. Because you are not alone. Not in you fear or you grief or your hopes or your dreams. You are not alone.”

“When I think of my mother’s violent temper, outbursts of affection, and reproachful attitude, I try not to see them as facets of her personality but to relate them to her own story and social background. This way of writing, which seems to bring me closer to the truth, relieves me of the dark, heavy burden of personal remembrance by establishing a more objective approach. And yet something deep down inside refuses to yield and wants me to remember my mother purely in emotional terms—affection or tears—without searching for an explanation.”

“I learned the difference between solving pain and tending to pain. I learned, first hand, when trying to talk someone out of their grief is both harmful and entirely different from helping them live with their grief.”

“What I do know is that as we’re navigating through our grief, there’s often a point when we’re ready to acknowledge it and see there is life after grief. We realize that while our life will never be the same as it was pre-quake, we will go on and possibly even find a more enriching life. We become ready to find the silver lining, gift, or lesson we can embrace to help us understand and give meaning to the lifequake and help us move through and forward.”