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The Art of Body Language: 8 Ways to Optimize Non-Verbal Communication for Positive Impact

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Susan C. Young

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“What does a solid, comfortable, impressive handshake look and feel like? To deliver a great handshake . . . • Extend your right hand out vertically at a comfortable waist level toward the person you are meeting. • Connect hands with web to web contact made between the thumb and index finger. • Be intentional and appropriate by showing mutual respect and teamwork. • Gently squeeze firmly enough to be confident, yet lightly enough to be gracious. Shake a few times for good measure. • Discreetly rotate your wrist so that your hand is slightly on top of theirs when you want to subconsciously convey self-assurance. • Make eye contact and smile to show sincerity. Throw in an acknowledging head nod for good measure. Avoiding eye contact may be interpreted that you are not attentive or have something to hide. • Introduce yourself and when they share their name, repeat it back to them to help you remember it. “It is nice to meet you John.” • When in doubt, mirror their handshake to adapt to what makes them feel comfortable. Customize accordingly to the gender, age, position, personality, and culture of the person you are meeting.”

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Book:The Art of Body Language: 8 Ways to Optimize Non-Verbal Communication for Positive Impact
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“Palm Reading 101 • Palm Up— Conveys openness, service, humility, and sympathy. • Palm Down—Demonstrates authority, superiority, and control. • Palm Vertical—Shows you are meeting on equal terms with a mutually respectful greeting. • Palm Wet, Cold, or Clammy—Ick! The "dead fish" is creepy. Make your hands warm and dry before reaching out to touch someone, please! It can also be conveyed as being nervous or over-excited. • Palm Perfect—This is my favorite. Better known as the "hand hug." While you are shaking hands with your right hand, place your left hand on top, wrapping both people in warmth and trust. This two-handed shake illustrates affection, caring, or concern, especially when you then reach up to grasp their arm or shoulder.”

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Book:The Art of Body Language: 8 Ways to Optimize Non-Verbal Communication for Positive Impact
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“High fives and fist bumps have become the popular alternatives to traditional handshakes, especially among the younger generations. As a new social norm, they are used as a greeting, an approval, an acknowledgement, a celebration, and a gesture of understanding. High fives and fist bumps are also viewed as a healthier alternative to traditional handshakes because they don’t spread germs.”

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Book:The Art of Body Language: 8 Ways to Optimize Non-Verbal Communication for Positive Impact
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“Considerations & Exceptions for Impressive Handshakes • Be mindful of a person’s age; be tender with arthritic hands. In that case, a loose and gentler handshake is a gesture of sensitivity and compassion. • Show interest; even if your right hand is full, offer your left hand. • Demonstrate respect when you are caught in an introduction while seated; try to stand. • Be instinctive about when to allow the length of your handshake to linger to express unity, connection, or sympathy.”

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Book:The Art of Body Language: 8 Ways to Optimize Non-Verbal Communication for Positive Impact
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“All hugs are not created equal. Some people are naturally gifted in showering others with warmth and affection. They can hug with such a sincere intention it transcends a handshake. Their hugs feel genuine, non-threatening, and are emotionally consistent with the relationship they share with the "hugee.”

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Book:The Art of Body Language: 8 Ways to Optimize Non-Verbal Communication for Positive Impact
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“communication skills, quotes by Susan C Young, relationship quotes, emotional intelligence quotes, motivational speaker Susan Young, body language quotes, handshake quotes, make a positive first impression quotes, susanspeaks.com, customer service quotes”

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Book:The Art of Body Language: 8 Ways to Optimize Non-Verbal Communication for Positive Impact
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“Brian is a deeply compassionate man who was sad to learn that his work colleague, Tom, had lost his 17-year-old daughter to a drug overdose. When Tom returned to work weeks later, Brian approached him and said, “Man, I am so sorry. There are no words to express my condolences. “Brian reached out to hug Tom. At first, he was rigid and on guard, but with Brian’s genuine embrace, he felt Tom release into his safety. Tom had been so incredibly strong for his wife and family that Brian’s powerful hug allowed him to surrender into another man’s strength. It was a memorable and powerful step towards healing. Sometimes a hug at the right time, even if spontaneous, can be the kindest thing you can do for another human being.”

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“Hugging is quite an intimate contact. Considering the studies done on proxemics we looked at earlier; when you get within two feet of another person you are inside their intimate space. There are some people who truly do not want you in their 'bubble' unless you are close friends or they’ve given you permission. Assuming familiarity incorrectly can destroy rapport, make a bad impression, and risk everything you have done well up to then.”

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Book:The Art of Body Language: 8 Ways to Optimize Non-Verbal Communication for Positive Impact
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“Look for all of the possible missteps in the following scenario. My friend Amy arrived at a consultation with her Hispanic business partner. The African American woman to whom they were delivering their presentation was a long-time friend of her partner’s. Her partner was greeted with a hug and Amy was greeted with a handshake. The meeting was a great success. As it came to a close, the two friends hugged. With enthusiastic affection, Amy went to hug the African American client. The woman took a step, turned her shoulder to block the hug, and looked at Amy with dismissive anger. It was almost a defensive move. Her partner, recognizing this, put her arm around Amy to soften the situation and make light of the inappropriate gesture. Everything turned out fine, but Amy was baffled by the barrier. She was confused by the woman’s reaction since their interaction had been cordial and positive. She wondered if she had been socially insensitive or culturally inappropriate. After much reflection, however, she realized that she had simply been too quick to assume familiarity. Thankfully, she earned and learned the lesson quickly to become more aware. Amy eventually earned the trust of her client and secured her valuable business.”

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Book:The Art of Body Language: 8 Ways to Optimize Non-Verbal Communication for Positive Impact
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