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Quote by Lundy Bancroft

Work

Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

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Author

Lundy Bancroft
Lundy Bancroft

Lundy Bancroft is a renowned author specializing in the fields of domestic violence and intimate relationship education and research. His work aims to help people understand and address domestic violence issues, support victims, and educate the public to raise awareness of the problem. more

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“Mind is like space because it has no limitation. When there are no clouds, when it is completely clear, space is like our "ordinary" state of mind. Then, all of a sudden, clouds come from nowhere. Our emotional problems and mental chaos are like the clouds. When they take over, we can't see space anymore, we only see the clouds. When they take over, we can't see space any more, we only see the clouds. However, space never goes away, it's always there. It's just our minds getting into darkness so that, for us, the clouds become our only reality. It means that we give more solidity to our emotional upheavals, to all the things going on in our minds, so that they become "real" for us than the true essence of the mind. And as we have a physical form, when we get very emotional, the end result may be tears rolling down our cheeks, just like rain falling form the clouds.”

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“It is only by finding and healing these old, original traumas that the narcissist has been using against you that you can break out of the insane emotional prison he or she has trapped you in. The irony is, this necessity brings with it an incredible opportunity: it can enable your evolution into the version of yourself that you have always wanted to be. It can allow you to free yourself at last from those wounded parts of your inner being that have prevented you from becoming your highest and best self.”

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“Don’t shout, Yen, don’t be aggressive. And don’t drag up that story from Vengerberg, we swore not to go back to it, after all. I don’t bear a grudge against you, Yen, I’m not reproaching you, am I? I know you can’t be judged by ordinary standards. And the fact that I’m saddened… the fact that I know I’m losing you… is cellular memory. The atavistic remnants of feelings in a mutant purged of emotion—”

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