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Quote by Arief Subagja

“Lihatlah sebuah objek dari sudut pandang yang berbeda, maka kamu akan menemukan keajaiban disana”

Quote by Arief Subagja

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Arief Subagja

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“When we experience a break in connection followed by repeated attempts at repair until the bond is restored, we build implicit pathways of resilience. We come to know in a visceral way that when things break down interpersonally, someone will return to help us come back into relationship. That wired-in optimism and expectation makes it much more likely that we will form relationships that have this quality. Most of the people who come to us haven't had this experience consistently in their lives, so when they encounter it with us, it is often surprising to the point of tears. As we accept and then rejoice in our humanness, we offer this vital gift of rupture and repair to those around us.”

Mental HealthTrauma HealingHealthy RelationshipsImplicit MemoryRupture And RepairAttachment HealingEmbodied Expectation
Book:The Heart of Trauma: Healing the Embodied Brain in the Context of Relationships
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“While conflict is inevitable in friendship, friends also have the ability to tolerate each other’s needs and to resolve differences. As Frans de Waal writes, “Fires start, but fires go out…We know a great deal about the causes of hostile behavior in both animals and humans…Yet we know little of the way conflicts are avoided - or how, when they do occur, relationships are afterward repaired and normalized. In his wonderful book Peacemaking Among Primates, Frans de Waal makes the case that for all primates, humans included, “making peace is as natural as making war.”

ConflictPeacemakingRupture And RepairConflict Resolution Peace
Book:Best Friends, Worst Enemies: Understanding the Social Lives of Children
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“At first you might wonder what you did to deserve such treatment. Nothing, probably, so that doesn't matter. What matters is that, eventually, the abuse becomes the status quo. It's no longer about the whats and whys (“what did I do?” “why are they doing this?”) but the whens and hows (“when are they going to do it?” “how are they going to get me?”). Persecution becomes inevitable, inescapable. And once you get into the victim mindset, you're fucked. The bullies don't even need to hurt you now; your poor, warped, pathetic brain is doing half the work for them.”

PsychologyAbuseBullyingBulliesVictim MentalityVicious Cycle
Book:Freaky Freshman
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