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Sky in the Deep

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Adrienne Young

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“He had hundreds of monsters inside him wearing his face as a mask. Screaming and trying to tear him apart and take his place. He always fought furiously to hold them back and it created an unending chaos inside him. Eventually, in the end, he lost all his strength and battles. He was dragged down into the abyss. He cried and fought hard to find his way back home. To get out from there again and to be himself. But among all these masks, the real he was lost forever. He never made it back again, and he was not himself anymore.”

“Somos cinco hermanos. Vivimos en distintas ciudades y algunos en el extranjero, pero no solemos escribirnos. Cuando nos vemos, podemos estar indiferentes y distraídos unos de los otros, pero basta que uno de nosotros diga una palabra, una frase, una de aquellas antiguas frases que hemos oído y repetido infinidad de veces en nuestra infancia, nos basta con decir: "No hemos venido a Bérgamo a hacer campamento" o "¿A qué apesta el ácido sulfhídrico?", para volver a recuperar de pronto nuestra antigua relación y nuestra infancia y juventud, unidas indisolublemente a aquellas frases, a aquellas palabras. Una de aquellas frases o palabras nos haría reconocernos los unos a los otros en la oscuridad de una gruta o entre millones de personas. Esas frases son nuestro latín, el vocabulario de nuestros días pasados, son como jeroglíficos de los egipcios o de los asiriobabilonios: el testimonio de un núcleo vital que ya no existe, pero que sobrevive en sus textos, salvados de la furia de las aguas, de la corrosión del tiempo. Esas frases son la base de nuestra unidad familiar, que subsistirá mientras permanezcamos en el mundo recreándose y resucitando en los puntos más diversos de la tierra.”

“I don't like to come home. Other houses have warmth in them, the lines between the people who live there humming with unspent energy ready to unreel. Conversations from the past still hover in the air, waiting for the threads to be picked up again. The air here is cold, empty to the point of sterility. When I hear my name it's shocking, a word that isn't spoken. Taboo.”

“I confess that I sometimes felt like I was being launched into the endless expanses of space alone...But from the moment I had voiced my trans identity that first night, every step I took felt like coming home. Every step felt like healing, aching and uncomfortable as it began, but slowly hinting at a kind of relief, a feeling of rightness I’d never known before. I was shedding my skin like a snake. I knew it as soon as the itch began. I can only describe how I knew it as the unyielding certainty of instinct.”