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Girl in the Woods: A Memoir

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Aspen Matis

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“Oh, my Seasons. "You disarm me." Oh, my Seasons. Who knew the color blue could smolder? His eyes held mine, feasted on them. No. Not feasted. He wanted that with her, not with me. At any rate, my breathing stalled. I could lose my mind to that face, his expression strumming a hundred truths from me, whether I liked it or not. "What do you wish for?" he asked. For my mother to get better. For her to look at me without grabbing that mallet. For people to see me as a real girl. For them to believe it. For me to believe it. For you to believe it.”

“Have you a room that you could let?" "Yes, I have a room that I could let, but I do not want to let it. I have only two rooms, and there are six of us already, and the boys and girls are growing up. But school books cost money, and my husband is ailing, and when he is well it is only thirty-five shillings a week. And six shillings of that is for the rent, and three shillings of that is for the rent, and three shillings for travelling, and a shilling that we may all be buried decently, and a shilling for the books, and three shillings is for clothes and that is little enough, and a shilling for my husband's beer, and a shilling for his tobacco, and these I do not grudge for he is a decent man and does not gamble or spend his money on other women, and a shilling for the Church, and a shilling for sickness. And that leaves seventeen shillings for food for six, and we are always hungry. Yes I have a room but I do not want to let it. How much could you pay?" "I could pay three shillings a week for the room." "And I would not take it." "Three shillings and sixpence." "Three shillings and sixpence. You can't fill your stomach on privacy. You need privacy when your children are growing up, but you can't fill your stomach on it. Yes, I shall take three shillings and sixpence.”