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Quote by Titon Rahmawan

“Adakah Kau Temukan Separuh Ilusi dalam 7 Bait Sajakku Ini? : Alejandra Pizarnik /1/  Ada riwan kekuningan dan kawanan angsa liar di jela-jela bunga bakung. Jerit tangis yang terperangkap dalam seringai bibir si mati yang tenggelam ke dalam rawa itu tadi pagi, sebelum ia sempat menafsirkan sajak ini. /2/  Tetapi, jangan silap oleh senyap yang hinggap di pokok dadap di belakang kuburan yang dijaga oleh seekor burung hantu buta. Dalam kalap mata si nara gila yang berhasil kabur dari lembaran ungu penjara otakmu. /3/  Sebab kuyakin, ada seekor rusa totol indigo dan sejumput rumput kelabu bening dalam gelak tawa kanak-kanak yang berlarian bersicepat mengejar angin mendaki bukit Lillahi ta’ala. /4/  Karena sajakmulah maka kutemukan titik-titik hujan yang urung terperangkap dalam cangkir porselen di jejak kaki para sufi dan dalam putih sorban para pencari tuhan. /5/  Sementara di pelupuk matamu ada kudapati sesayat pisau luka. Lagu cemar yang tercabar dari derai kepingan heran. Dan entah mengapa, telanjur terpatri jadi senyum pilu di sudut bibir para penjaja cinta. /6/  Namun, kukira itu bukanlah gelembung busa biasa, melainkan selaput tipis rasa takjub yang mungkin tak tersentuh oleh jari-jemari tangan Nizhami saat ia berkisah tentang Laila dan Majnun. /7/  Barangkali langit keruh kelabu sudah telanjur jenuh oleh tangisanku. Tangis yang diam-diam terpendam dalam curam jeram jantung kita. Serupa fatamorgana, ilusi dari cekaman rasa dahaga yang sungguh tiada terperi. (Januari 2014)”

Quote by Titon Rahmawan

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Titon Rahmawan

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“Kay Dalam Bayangan Absurditas (Bayang Psikis Gelap, Titik Nol) Kay tidak pernah berbicara. Bahkan tidak pernah menoleh. Ia berjalan di dalam kepalaku seperti angin yang lupa bahwa ia adalah angin. Ia tidak tahu aku ada. Ia tidak pernah tahu. Dan mungkin itu cara alam melindungiku dari keruntuhan yang lebih dalam. Aku minum dari dirinya seperti haus yang mencari sumur di tengah gurun yang bahkan tidak tahu bahwa ia adalah gurun. Ia menjadi mata airku tanpa pernah mengalir dengan sengaja, menjadi cahaya yang jatuh tanpa pernah berniat menerangi. Ironinya: aku hidup dari sesuatu yang tidak pernah hidup untukku. Dan mungkin di situlah aku menemukan makna yang bahkan Tuhan pun enggan untuk menjelaskan. 2023”

“A desire to attain short-term happiness while laboring under the weight a looming death sentence is an obvious paradox. Suicide, as distinguished from medical euthanasia, is an emotional reaction to the absurdity of life. Suicide is a panic-stricken reflex induced by the sinister twins of fear and foreboding. A rational person does not commit self-murder because their longing for happiness is incongruent with their present day reality. Suicide is a superficial response to hard times; suicide is a pusillanimous solution. A more measured reaction and, therefore, ultimately a braver and logical tactic is to meet life’s pillbox of irrationality headfirst. Upon soul-searching reflection, a thinking person accepts that while he or she might never comprehend a unifying meaning of life they still prefer to experience each permitted day of life to the fullest. A pragmatic person accepts the cold fact that happiness is fleeting and death is inevitable. By acknowledging and accepting the underlying absurdity of life, the prisoner awakens to discover his own humanity. By refusing to cooperate with death, by working each day to expand personal consciousness, by savoring each moment of life regardless of its hazards, adversities, misfortunes, and seemingly lack of overriding purpose, an impertinent ward of time transcends his or her incarnate incarceration.”

“I cannot shun the past because it contains information that is useful to script future goals. Looking back into the opaque window of reductive retrospect, what essential opportunities exist today that beckon one to seek with unrestrained enthusiasm? What iridescent signals flare from our conceptual self that if we heedlessly ignore their luminous summons, such deliberate acts of omission will suture the apex of our souls, relegating us to the dreaded curse of mucking along in an ordinary life stalled out by our overweening fear of estrangement?”

“College students’ bizarre actions are incomprehensible until scrutinized under the lens that they are simply defying their mortality. A person learns how to live by contemplating death, because when a person faces death, it strips everything superfluous away, revealing the sterling qualities of life. University students newly freed from parental restraints desire to ascertain the essence of their life, but they lack the maturity and life experiences meaningfully to contemplate the weighty subjects of life and death. Realizing their immaturity and resultant angst, collegiate students act recklessly in order to loudly proclaim that they do not care if fate demands that they die will, when in fact they are terrified of both living and dying.”

“Am I alone in an ensconced inner world where I obsessively worry about what happens to me, where the story of personal survival becomes the central theme of my shallow existence? I think not. Swaddled in our own brand of strangeness, we all struggle to come to terms with our demonstrated personal shortcomings. Our yearned-for life of living in pink skyways far removed from harm’s way is depressingly marked in contrast by our actual crabby existence spent scuttling along akin to a smug lobster, scrunched down on the asphalt streets, working in the city grid as frumpy members of the faceless mob.”