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The Space Between the Raindrops

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Justin Ker

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“We’re in an a bit of an awkward situation. When the institution of marriage first came about, people commonly got married at around the same age that they began to develop feelings for the opposite sex. This is no longer the case. 13, 14 - these are no longer appropriate ages to be getting married. Now, you do not get married until you’re out of college, at least. If you get married any earlier, you’re looked down upon. So, what we have is a gap. A gap between when we begin to be attracted to the opposite sex, and when we’re allowed to give into that attraction. A gap between now and then. A fairly large gap, I might add. About a 10 or 12 year gap. I believe that dating was designed to bridge that gap.”

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“The opposite of lust is intentional, purposeful. The opposite of lust is longing for a ‘particular’ person – because while lust is looking to get, the opposite of lust is looking to give. The opposite of lust is choosing a certain person. The same person. Everyday. For the rest of your life. Despite what they have to offer. Now that’s romantic. The opposite of lust is waking up every morning and saying, “out of everyone else in this world, I choose you.” I choose you. Today, and everyday. I choose you not because you’re perfect for me and you meet all of my qualifications and conditions and because you make me feel loved and cared for. No. I choose you, because I know you’re a lot like me, and you’re going to fall short and mess up and you’re not always going to feel like loving me – but you’re going to want someone to stick around with you despite all that. I choose you, because I know Jesus loves you, and He doesn’t love you because He is impressed by you and He gets a warm feeling in His heart when He’s around you and you complete Him. He loves you so that you might become more like Him. This is a love that isn't dependent on us.”

LoveDatingLust
Book:Dating: I Think We've Missed The Point
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“And for another person to come along side us on our journey - for two messy, broken people to come together and say “I know your faults, I know you’re going to do some things I hate, I know the person you are now is not the person you want to be. However, I know the person you could become and I want to help you get there.” That’s what it’s all about.”

LoveDatingJourneys
Book:Dating: I Think We've Missed The Point
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“. . . none of us are as sophisticated in these matters as you think. You know I always feel, with every new person, as if I am starting anew. These things are instinctive. What you need to learn is to lay aside your inhibitions, to go back to your childhood when you played marbles or whatever with boys and never thought anything of it.”

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Book:Reading Lolita in Tehran: A Memoir in Books
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