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Quote by Leila Mottley

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The Girls Who Grew Big

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Leila Mottley

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“If you notice any errorrs, omisions, blundurs, missed steaks mistakes… keep that sh*t to yourself.”

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“We all make mistakes. But we never stop loving each other. That’s what family is for. Everyone messes up.” “I don’t,” I said—quickly. I could’ve left it at that. Let this go. Like it really was as simple as one stupid decision and not that I was a bad bet, myself. But I didn’t. Because for the first time in my life I was ready to let her see me. Really, see me. My walls came down. “I don’t.” I bit my lip. “Not when it comes to helping our family. I can’t. I can’t make mistakes. I—I can’t. I have to be here. To fill in the gaps. To fix things. I don’t get to fuck things up. I protect us. I provide. That’s my job.” “Oh, sweetie.” Mom cupped my face in her palms. [...]“No one asked you to do that.” “You didn’t have to.” “I know.” She swallowed, her eyes shining. I hadn’t meant to make her cry, but hell. I was tired of lying, of hiding. “I wasn’t a good mom to you.” “Yes you were—” I interrupted quickly. “No, I wasn’t.” She laughed and the sound was wet. “I did my best. You know I did. But you deserved better. Maybe if I’d been a better mom, you would’ve learned that when things go to shit, other people are there to help. You wouldn’t be so hard on yourself. Maybe if I hadn’t failed so much myself, it would’ve left room for you to.” She stroked her thumbs over my cheeks and looked at me—really looked at me. I looked back. She was so familiar, and yet so different. [....]“I can’t be a totally horrible mom though. Not when somehow, despite everything I put you through, you still ended up perfect.”

MotherHurtFamilyBrotherPressureMistakesAxiety
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