“Love is like a lost fart. If you have to force it, it's probably shit.”
Source: I Used to Say My Mother Was Shirley Bassey
“I can't believe she's lived this long. God must be avoiding her.”
Source: Natural Order
“For the first time since he showed up in my checkout lane, I let my eyes wander the full length of his body. The bulge in his running down the side of his pants leg is quite noticeable; either he has a banana in his pocket, or he’s happy to see me. Then I notice a similar bulge running down the side of his other pants leg. Either he has two bananas in his pockets, or he has two erections.”
Source: Fifty-one Shades: A Parody
“Red sky at night, the city's alight.”
Source: Equal Rites
“In peacetime some sort of introduction is generally required to make a person's acquaintance; in war a small eatable will perform the same office.”
Source: Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell
“If you can put this book down, it means you need more coffee and less sleep. After all, sleep is for the weak which is why I get 8 hours every night and 2 hours during the day and drink de-cafe.”
Source: Religion: The Ultimate STD: Living a Spiritual Life without Dogmatics or Cultural Destruction
“Boys", Buffy hissed through clenched teeth, "being quiet is an important part of sneaking."
"Oh, sorry", Xander said, reducing his voice to a whisper.
"Besides, ritual sacrifice is a religious rite", Giles went on quietly. "They wouldn't sacrifice just anyone at random. It's far more likely they'd suspect you of being a Roman spy scouting for the invasion and just outright kill you".
"Oh great! Great! Way to be encouraging Giles. And I suppose you'll just watch that happen, in your Watchery way.”
Source: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Vol. 1
“She recalled him as a forceful and witty speaker with a ready repartee and a penetrating voice. He had once, for example, put down a spokesman for the pesticide industry with a remark that people still quoted at parties: "And I presume on the eighth day God called you and said, 'I changed my mind about insects!”
Source: The Sheep Look Up
“I have lived now for over a century, yet I can still say with complete confidence that no one can claim to have plumbed the depths of human misery who has not shared the fore-ends of a submarine with a camel.”
Source: A Sailor of Austria: In Which, Without Really Intending to, Otto Prohaska Becomes Official War Hero No. 27 of the Habsburg Empire
“इस पुन्न भूम भारत में कबीर के बाद कोई बुरा आदमी पइदा हुआ हो तो हमें बता देंगे, प्लीज ! '- नेताजी ने हमें टोका - 'अंतम व्यक्त वाहियै था जिसने पब्लकलि डक्लेयर किया कि मुझसा बुरा न कोय।”
Source: नेताजी कहिन