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Quote by Thupten Jinpa

“In subsequent studies, Warneken and Tomasello found that children were willing to help even when doing so involved hardship and interrupting their play. Interestingly, they also found that rewarding the children was counterproductive. The children who were rewarded for helping were later less likely to help than those who had never been rewarded. Studies also show that infants as young as six months demonstrate clear preference for toys that enact helping behavior rather than hindering.”

Quote by Thupten Jinpa

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Thupten Jinpa

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“My time in seminary confirmed what I had learned about loss and life: that living with the end in mind can be an ennobling endeavor. That the more we embrace dying, the more we embrace living. That life was never meant to be about our self-interests but about being a source of love for others. That our presence is far more important than any technical know-how we may possess about religion or spirituality. That compassion and generosity of spirit will prevail over rigid thoughts and beliefs every single time. That sitting with discomfort can be far more intimate and helpful than trying to fix that which is unfixable. And that when something can be remedied, we must not allow ourselves to become passive but rather step in and fill the void. All of this is the essence of reverence.”

“Compassion is more than simply tolerating: When someone “tolerates” something, it implies temporary patience in enduring a particular circumstance. (It can also suggest a subtle level of arrogance as you are tolerating a less evolved or immature behavior.) And though it is true that cultivating tolerance can open the door to feeling true compassion, they are not the same thing. Authentic compassion does not require strained effort. It does not require struggle to maintain. It resonates from a deeper expression of empathy from within. Tolerance is always cultivated through personal will, while inherent compassion arises effortlessly through sincere empathetic human connection.”

“Even in the midst of grief, there is growth, compassion, and love to be unearthed. Loss buries us underground, but our broken hearts hold the seeds for our inevitable regrowth. Your grief belongs to you. But so, too, does your coming back.”

“Do you believe that?” Melinda says, directing her wonderment at Irv. “That if someone commits suicide they go to hell?” “No.” “But many Christians do, right?” “There’s a debate, but it’s doctrine.” “But you don’t think so?” “No.” “Why not?” “For the same reason the Catholics believe in the Trinity, Melinda.” The appetizers arrive with a speed that Sigrid finds suspicious. “Which is . . . what?” “It’s how I understand Jesus’s words spoken from the cross,” says Irv, taking a calamari. “Jesus spoke seven times on the cross. In Matthew Twenty-Seven, verse forty-six and in Mark Fifteen verse thirty-four he says, ‘My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?’ This led to the Trinity,” Irv said, sucking cocktail sauce and grease from his thumb. “The thinking is, if Jesus was Lord, who was he speaking to? He was obviously speaking to someone or something other than himself, unless . . . ya know.” Irv makes a circular cuckoo motion by his head with a piece of squid. “So perhaps he was speaking to the Father, or to the Holy Spirit. In this act, he distinguishes himself from the eternal and embodies everything that is Man. The fear, the sadness, the tragedy. The longing. The recognition of betrayal. We see him, in that moment, only as the Son, and because of that, as ourselves. As I read it, Melinda, we are not invited in that moment to be cruel to him for his despair, or to mock him. Instead we are asked to feel his pain. When Jesus says, ‘It is finished’ I don’t read, ‘Mission accomplished.’ I see a person resigned. A person who has lost hope. A person who has taken a step away from this life. And our pity for him grows. And finally he says, ‘Father, into your hands I commend my spirit.’ Now, I’m not going to equate Jesus letting go with suicide, but any decent and forgiving Christian person would have to admit that we are looking at a person who cannot fight anymore. We are being taught to be understanding of that state of mind and sympathetic to the suffering that might lead a person to it. It does not follow to me that if someone succumbs to that grief we are to treat them with eternal contempt. I just don’t believe it.”

“There are times I wish anxiety served no good purpose. That it could be surgically removed and discarded like an infected gallbladder, one that has tormented a body with constant bouts of pain. The agony is similar—so strenuously endured. What scalpel exists to carve out anxiety from both heart and mind? What prescription can subdue the inflammation? Is there a cure? Or is it somehow essential? A vital part of life that if lacking would cause us to eventually wither away. I see strength gained from it, lessons learned from it, and compassion sprout in its soil. But is there no other way? There are times I wish anxiety served no good purpose.”