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No Cure for Being Human: And Other Truths I Need to Hear

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Kate Bowler

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“I once met a man who didn't have a heart. He told me he didn't have one. So I planted one inside him and he didn't even recognize it while it was growing. "What are these weird feelings?" he'd ask me. As if he'd never loved before, never felt before. "That's called a heart, you shithead" I explained. But then he took that heart and gave it as a gift to another. "Look, I have a gift for you" he told her. But that heart will die without me, you see. Hearts cannot be regifted.”

“People today refer to Judas Iscariot in a way as if he was betraying a wonderful, upstanding man in society. They forget that Judas was betraying a wanted criminal branded as a fraud by all of the synagogues in the land. Ask yourself, how many times have you denied another person to save your own skin and to appear upright? How many times have you been a Judas Iscariot?”

“He's so intense, but I stand my ground. "Your people will... "I am not only talking about my people now," he snaps. "I am talking about me." The words feel like a slap. I stare at him, suddenly breathless "You think I betrayed you." He says nothing. And the worst part is, he's not wrong either. I was acting on emotion. I wasn't thinking about how anyone would perceive my actions. I spent months thinking Grey was dead, and after seeing what Rhen was willing to do in the courtyard, I wasn't going to wait around for him to up the ante. My throat tightens. I turn to look out over the courtyard again, hoping the breeze will drag my tears away. "He was trapped with you for ... ever," I say. "Forever, Rhen. "How could you do that to him?" Rhen is quiet for a moment. "He was your friend, too, my lady. I was not the only one he ran from." I remember a moment, in the courtyard, when Rhen was still a monster. When Lilith was going to kill me, and Grey got on his knees and offered himself to spare me. I remember a moment in Washington, DC, when Grey was near death because Rhen had attacked him, and he came to me for help. Not anyone in Emberfall. To me. He could have told me his secret. I would have helped him. He chose not to. To protect me? Or to protect himself? Both? We once spoke of my duty to bleed so he does not. Oh, Grey.”