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Quote by Maria Ingrande Mora

“That's what I hated thinking about the most. Oblivion. Nothing. Forever. As unfathomable as the universe around us stretching endlessly, impossibly big, horrible, terrifying... Being alive scared the shit out of me most of the time, but being dead would be so much worse.”

Quote by Maria Ingrande Mora

Book:The Immeasurable Depth of You
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The Immeasurable Depth of You

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Maria Ingrande Mora

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“before the love of my life decided he didn’t want to live anymore, he told me the stars belonged to us. We spent every night together, our bodies softly intertwined on harsh roof tiles, memorizing the patterns in the sky. So even as he withered, as his body became less body and more corpse, I believed our stars would give him faith. I believed they would keep him alive so long as he could look up and see they hadn’t fallen.”

DeathDyingSad
Book:I Fell in Love With Hope
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“I'm sorry, for... not... protecting you.' His face blurred as I stared at him. 'The blood wasn't pouring from the wound as freely now. 'You have protected me. You still will.' 'I... didn't.' His gaze trekked over my shoulder to where Lord Mazeen stood. 'I... failed you... as a man. Forgive me.' 'There's nothing to forgive you for,' I cried. 'You've done nothing wrong.' His dulling eyes fixed on me. 'Please.' 'I forgive you.' I rocked forward, dropping my forehead to his. 'I forgive you. I do. I forgive you.' Vikter shuddered. 'Please don't,' I whispered. 'Please don't leave me. lease. I can't. I can't do this without you. Please.' His hand slipped from mine. I drew in air, but it went nowhere as I lifted my head, looking down at him. I frantically searched his face. His eyes were open, his lips parted, but he didn't see me. He didn't see anything anymore. 'Vikter?' I pressed down on his chest, feeling for his heart, for just a beat. That's all I wanted to feel. Just a heartbeat. Please. 'Vikter?' My name was whispered softly. It was Hawke. He placed his hand over mine. I looked at him and shook my head. 'No.' 'I'm sorry,' he said, gently lifting my hand. 'I'm so sorry.' 'No,' I repeated, my breath now coming in short, rapid pants. 'No.”

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Book:From Blood and Ash
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“These feelings don't just go away. They linger. Hover. They are with me always. Even at my most functioning...they are there, watching me. These emotions are my roommates now, bunking up beside me at night. They do not pay any rent...they are determined to ruin me, and yet I can never fully evict them from my brain. I have tried -- really tried -- to chip away at my grief...But lately, I've just given up. I'm finally giving it permission to breathe and exist... Most days now, they lie dormant in me. Sometimes it gets so quiet in my brain I think they've finally packed up and left. But every year as the calendar rounds the corner to March and the anniversary of her death approaches, anger bubbles again...I rage over the smallest of things, screaming behind the steering wheel of my car when another driver forgets to use their blinker. At first I'm perplexed, and then I remember: it's here again. And I am still mad. So mad. I can starve it, avoid it, rationalize it, manage it, talk about it in therapy, and eat it up in neat little points value. No matter how much weight I lose, I will never lose this one simple truth: I want my mom. I am so f***ing mad that she's gone. And that feeling will never, ever die.”

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Book:The Dead Moms Club: A Memoir about Death, Grief, and Surviving the Mother of All Losses
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