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The Lord of the Silence: Experiencing Intimacy With God In This Fast-Paced World

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Shaneen Clarke

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“Which made me think about a musician Aaron told me about: a composer who wrote a piece with no notes whatsoever. When the piece is performed, a musician comes onstage, opens the piano, sets a timer, and plays nothing. Aaron said the first time the piece was performed, the audience got nervous -- they whispered to one another and shifted in their seats, and some even walked out. Now when it's performed, people expect the silence. Instead of getting mad or nervous, they hear other things: the rustling of programs, fabric sliding against seats, polite coughing. They hear themselves, which they wouldn't hear otherwise, even though those noises were always there. That piece is called 4'33", because the performer sits quietly for exactly four minutes and thirty-three seconds.”

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“How can we possibly act curious when others are either attacking us or heading for cover? People who routinely seek to find out why others are feeling unsafe do so because they have learned that getting at the source of fear and discomfort is the best way to return to dialogue. Either they’ve seen others do it or they’ve stumbled on the formula themselves. Either way, they realize that the cure to silence or violence isn’t to respond in kind, but to get at the underlying source. This calls for genuine curiosity—at a time when you’re likely to be feeling frustrated or angry.”

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Book:Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High
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