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Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High

Book by Kerry Patterson · 8 quotes · Attack, Dialogue, Inspirational

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Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High Quotes

“People often assume that trust is something you have or don’t have. Either you trust someone or you don’t. That puts too much pressure on trust. “What do you mean I can’t stay out past midnight? Don’t you trust me?” your teenage son inquires. Trust doesn’t have to be universally offered. In truth, it’s usually offered in degrees and is very topic specific. It also comes in two flavors—motive and ability. For example, you can trust me to administer CPR if needed; I’m motivated. But you can’t trust me to do a good job; I know nothing about t.”

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“How can we possibly act curious when others are either attacking us or heading for cover? People who routinely seek to find out why others are feeling unsafe do so because they have learned that getting at the source of fear and discomfort is the best way to return to dialogue. Either they’ve seen others do it or they’ve stumbled on the formula themselves. Either way, they realize that the cure to silence or violence isn’t to respond in kind, but to get at the underlying source. This calls for genuine curiosity—at a time when you’re likely to be feeling frustrated or angry.”

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“They discover that they are the only sure source of their own sense of safety and worth. That discovery is liberating. They stop blaming the world for how they feel and become responsible for their own serenity... Think of your pen as the power to define your worth. When you hold your pen, you get to author the terms.”

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Book:Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High
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