“AVPs will hold the spouse accountable for “wrong” action. This is true even if the spouse felt he or she was supporting the AVP. The AVP is hypersensitive. They do have a continued suspiciousness of others and what they might do to them. This, in turn, maintains a fairly consistent internal defensive posture.”
Source: Hiding In The Light: Understanding Avoidant Personality Disorder
“If you’re avoidant, you need to be able to maintain some distance, either emotional or physical, from your partner and preserve a large degree of separateness. In order to be happy in a relationship, we need to find a way to communicate our attachment needs clearly.”
Source: Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love
“In the beginning of their relationships, both short term and long term, the AVP seems to welcome assistance. As time progresses, they can see these same helpers as incompetent. This could be from a spouse helper to a therapist. When this occurs, passive–aggressive displays can be apparent, subsequent to distancing from a given relationship.”
Source: Hiding In The Light: Understanding Avoidant Personality Disorder
“Hence, the significant other has little to no input on this process. It’s already been done. The dramas/traumas have already been enacted. Their own memories carry negative emotions, even if they are not able to remember the details of the memory.”
Source: Hiding In The Light: Understanding Avoidant Personality Disorder
“We know that while AVP may be the least problematic of the personality disorders, it can have serious consequences in the lives of close family members, and particularly the significant other. Treatment can be initiated by an AVP, but often the focus is on other “symptoms,” such as failed relationships, anxiety, or depression. More often, treatment is initiated by the AVP’s significant other.”
Source: Hiding In The Light: Understanding Avoidant Personality Disorder
“The spouse sees all the wonderful aspects embodied in these relationships, and the missing pieces in their own relationship with the AVP. This is how the spouse would prefer to be treated. This causes anxiety, confusion, frustration, and loss for the spouse. Coworkers, colleagues, employees experience different levels of the AVP. The AVP’s perfectionism is usually full blown on the job, where the AVPs are at their best”
Source: Hiding In The Light: Understanding Avoidant Personality Disorder
“Overall, AVPs will be the ones to shut down in a relationship. There appear to be various reasons. They may find the spouse does understand them too well and is getting close.”
Source: Hiding In The Light: Understanding Avoidant Personality Disorder
“Every doubt carries a hidden question, and every question holds the seed of awakening.”
Source: When the Human Remembers
“The ‘easy-road’ is nothing more than a permanent rest stop on something that we thought to be a road.”
“Hello? And that was all I needed. I heaved and cried and begged her to forgive me, love me, want me. And before she could answer, I hung up.”
Source: Acid in Georgia