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Quote by Gaël Faye

“Je n'osais pas le dire aux autres mais j'avais peur de Francis. Je n'aimais pas trop quand Gino insistait sur la bagarre et la baston pour protéger l'impasse parce que je voyais bien que les copains étaient de plus en plus motivés par ce qu'il racontait. Moi aussi, je l'étais un peu, mais je préférais quand on fabriquait des bateaux avec des troncs de bananiers pour descendre la Muha, ou quand on observait aux jumelles les oiseaux dans les champs de maïs derrière le Lycée international, ou encore quand on construisait des cabanes dans les ficus du quartier et qu'on vivait des tas de péripéties d'Indiens et de Far West. On connaissait tous les recoins de l'impasse et on voulait y rester pour la vie entière, tous les cinq, ensemble. J'ai beau chercher, je ne me souviens pas du moment où l'on s'est mis à penser différemment. A considérer que, dorénavant, il y aurait nous d'un côté et, de l'autre, des ennemis, comme Francis. J'ai beau retourner mes souvenirs dans tous les sens, je ne parviens pas à me rappeler clairement l'instant où nous avons décidé de ne plus nous contenter de partager le peu que nous avions et de cesser d'avoir confiance de voir l'autre comme un danger, de créer cette frontière invisible avec le monde extérieur en faisant de notre quartier une forteresse et de notre impasse un enclos. Je me demande encore quand, les copains et moi, nous avons commencé à avoir peur.”

Quote by Gaël Faye

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Petit pays

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Gaël Faye

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“p2 I'd seen a photo of the actual red and white checked notebook that was Anne [Frank]'s first diary. I longed to own a similar notebook. Stationery was pretty dire back in the late fifties and early sixties. There was no such thing as Paperchase. I walked round and round the stationery counter in Woolworths and spent most of my pocket money on notebooks, but they weren't strong on variety. You could have shiny red sixpenny notebooks, lined inside, with strange maths details about rods and poles and perches on the back. (I never found out what they were!) Then you could have shiny blue sixpenny notebooks. That was your lot. I was enchanted to read in Dodie Smith's novel I Capture The Castle that the heroine, Cassandra, was writing her diary in a similar sixpenny notebook. She eventually progressed to a shilling notebook. My Woolworths rarely stocked such expensive luxuries. Then, two thirds of the way through the book, Cassandra is given a two-guinea red leather manuscript book. I lusted after that fictional notebook for years. I told my mother, Biddy. She rolled her eyes. It could have cost two hundred guineas - both were way out of our league... My dad, Harry, was a civil servant. One of the few perks of his job was that he had an unlimited illegal supply of notepads watermarked SO - Stationery Office. I'd drawn on these pads for years, I'd scribbled stories, I'd written letters. They were serviceable but unexciting: thin cream paper unreliably bound with glue at the top. You couldn't write a journal with these notepads; it would fall apart in days... My spelling wasn't too hot. It still isn't. Thank goodness for the spellcheck on my computer!”

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