“Fire had an almost magical quality that suggested anything was possible. Early on, man even believed that fire was a god that had to be fed with animal sacrifices in order to burn brightly. Today we have evolved a long way from this ridiculous notion of a 'fire god' and now rightfully understand God to be a bearded being who lives amongst the clouds and hates Jews and homosexuals.” MenWayLongGodTodayHateOrderAnimalQualityFireSacrificeNotionCloudsJewRidiculousFedsHomosexualLong Way Author:Amy Sedaris
“Your cravings as a human animal do not become a prayer just because it is God whom you ask to attend to them.” HumansGodAsksPrayerAnimalPrayingCravingHuman Animal Author:Dag Hammarskjold
“The coyotes made too much noise last night and kept me awake. Please eradicate these annoying animals.” MadeGodLastsNightAnimalToo MuchPleaseStupidityNoiseAwakeAnnoyingLast NightCoyotes Author:Dave Barry
“Ban walking sticks in wilderness. Hikers that use walking sticks are more likely to chase animals.” GodUseAnimalWalkingSticksStupidityWildernessBansHikerWalking Sticks Author:Dave Barry
“The human being is an animal who has received the vocation to become God.” HumansGodHuman BeingsAnimalVocation Author:Saint Basil
“There can be in the eyes of God no distinction between man and man, even as there is no distinction between animal and animal.” MenGodEyeAnimalDistinction Author:Mahatma Gandhi
“God gives every bird its food, but He does not throw it into its nest.” GivingDoeGodSuccessHumanityWorkAnimalEffortBirdGodlyNestsHustleWork EffortEffort And Hard WorkBird Watching Author:J. G. Holland
“Since the white man says he came from the evolution of animals, well, maybe the black man didn't. The white man has made so many errors in the handling of people that maybe he did come from a gorilla or a fish and crawl up on the sand and then into the trees. Of course, evolution doesn't take God into consideration. I don't think people learned to do all the things they do through evolution.” PeopleThinkingMenWellsMadeGodCoursesBlackWhiteAnimalTreeEvolutionErrorsFishesSandConsiderationWhite ManGorillas Author:Charles Mingus