“I'm a worthless check, a total wreck, a flop But if baby I'm the bottom, you're the top.” IfsBabyBottomChecksWorthlessWrecks Author:Cole Porter
“Just because a baby cries, I discovered, doesn't mean there's always something wrong. Sometimes babies wake up for no real reason. They just want to check if they're doing it right. "This is Sleeping, right?" "Exactly." "I just lie here?" "That's right." "Okay." Then back to sleep they go.” IfsWantMeanChildrenRealSometimesReasonHumorFunnyLyingSleepCryBabyOkayWake UpChecks Author:Paul Reiser
“I think for many of us - speaking for just a pocket of the country - we trusted Obama. So when you leave your baby with your mom to watch, you don't run home and check the nanny cam. But now we've left the baby with Gary Busey, so we're going to be a lot more on it.” ThinkingCountryHomeRunningLeftWatchesBabyMomChecksPocketsTrustedYour MomGaryNannies Author:John Mulaney
“Paul McCartney had a baby when he was 61; Rod Stewart was 66; Rupert Murdoch was a stunning 72. Not only does that mean they'll have less stamina than the average dad, that means they'll, well, check out a lot sooner too.” WellsMeanDoeBabyDadAverageChecksStunningStamina Author:Jeffrey Kluger