“British Israelites: The British Israelites believe the white Anglo-Saxons of Britain to be descended from the ten lost tribes of Israel deported by Sargon of Assyria on the fall of Sumeria in 721 B.C. ... They further believe that the future can be foretold by the measurements of the Great Pyramid, which probably means it will be big and yellow and in the hand of the Arabs. They also believe that if you sleep with your head under the pillow a fairy will come and take all your teeth.” IfsBelieveMeanHandsBigsFallLostSleepWhiteTenHumorousIsraelBritishTeethFairyBritainYellowTribesPillowMeasurementPyramidsAnglo Saxon Author:Mike Harding
“You should not use your fireplace, because scientists now believe that, contrary to popular opinion, fireplaces actually remove heat from houses. Really, that's what scientists believe. In fact many scientists actually use their fireplaces to cool their houses in the summer. If you visit a scientist's house on a sultry August day, you'll find a cheerful fire roaring on the hearth and the scientist sitting nearby, remarking on how cool he is and drinking heavily.” IfsShouldBelieveHeartFactsUseHouseOpinionFireSummerHumorousSittingScientistDrinkingContraryHeatRemoveCheerfulAugustRoaringPopular OpinionFireplaces Book:All the Dave Barry you could ever want: four classic books in one from America's foremost humorist Source: All the Dave Barry you could ever want: four classic books in one from America's foremost humorist