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Christopher Moore Quotes

Browse 9 quotes about Christopher Moore.

Christopher Moore Quotes

“Sam tried to think of a quick explanation, but was too weary from lack of sleep to tackle the concept of Las Vegas in twenty-five words or less. Finally he said, “These are places where you go if you want to fuck up your life and you don’t have a lot of time to do it in.” “Are we going to stop?” “No, I seem to be fucking up at a fine rate of speed, thank you.”

Las Vegas Christopher Moore Coyote Blue

Book:Coyote Blue

Source: Coyote Blue

“She have to go pick up prescription, so I watch Sophie for short time. And tiny bears are happy when I go in bathroom." "Hamsters, Mrs. Korjev, not bears." .... "I've got her now," Charlie said. "One of you stay with her while I get rid of the H-A-M-S-T-E-R-S." "He mean the tiny bears.”

Hamsters Christopher Moore A Dirty Job Tiny Bears

Book:A Dirty Job

Source: A Dirty Job

“My children are monsters, Kiro thought. And I am responsible. Perhaps if I had read them the haikus of Basho when they were little instead of that American manifesto of high-pressure sales, Green Eggs and Ham...”

Capitalism American Culture Haiku Christopher Moore Green Eggs And Ham Basho

Book:Coyote Blue

Source: Coyote Blue

“[...]I am a romance slut, and there's nothing I can do about it. If a guy does or says something romantic, I'm all "Oh, please excuse me, kind sir, let me dial down my IQ and oh, if it would please sir, may I offer you this moist, yet helpless va-jay-jay that seems to have lost its way." -The Chronicles of Abby Normal”

Bite Me Christopher Moore

Book:Bite Me

Source: Bite Me

“Kayso, Foo finally came home and I jumped into his arms and sort of rode him to the ground with a massive tongue kiss so deep that I could taste the burned cinnamon toast of his soul, but then I slapped him, so he didn't think I was a slut. (Shut up, he had wood.) --Being the Journal of Abby Normal”

Bite Me Christopher Moore

Book:Bite Me

Source: Bite Me

“Pervy and redundant, don't you think?" I asked the big gay cop, who wouldn't know a va-jay-jay if it bounced up to him and sang the "Star-Spangled Banner." (You ever notice that hardly anything besides the "Star-Spangled Banner" is spangled? There's no, like, the Raisin-Spangled Scone, or the Flea-Spangled Beagle. I'm just saying.) --Being the Journal of Abby Normal”

Bite Me Christopher Moore

Book:Bite Me

Source: Bite Me

“So, like, the master needed a hand, if you know what I mean, so I was like, "Oh chill, it's a stress thing, everyone does it. I'm flicking the bean under the table right now just to dial the tension back a little. Yes. Yes. Yes! Oh-zombie-jeebus-fuck-me-Simba-lion-king-hakuna-matata! Yes!" --The Chronicles of Abby Normal”

Bite Me Christopher Moore

Book:Bite Me

Source: Bite Me

“[Abby to Tommy and Jody who are hugging] So I'm like, "Cold-faced killers on the clock, bitches, we don't have time for your bonery right now." --The Chronicles of Abby Normal”

Bite Me Christopher Moore

Book:Bite Me

Source: Bite Me

“The scientific method is nothing more than a system of rules to keep us from lying to each other.”

Humor Science Christopher Moore Fluke

Author:Ken Norris