“A Romney presidency will be awesome unless you're poor, sick, gay, female, Mexican or a dog.” PoorDogGayFemaleSickPresidencyMexicanRomney Author:Andy Borowitz
“A woman who repeatedly asks a man she knows to be gay when he's going to get married and have children is not trying to let sleeping dogs lie.” KnowsMenTryingChildrenLyingAsksSleepDogGayMarriedSleeping Dogs Author:Mallory Ortberg
“I'm allergic to dogs, so I couldn't even adopt what gay men typically adopt when they have that maternal gene.” MenDogGayGenesGay MenAllergic Author:Dan Savage
“Another thing I take issue with are people who take their dogs on "play dates," or even worse, people who choose to dress their dogs up in outfits better suited for homosexuals participating in a gay pride parade. Dog costumes are right up there with something else I find particularly offensive: sweater vests.” PeoplePlayIssuesDogPrideGayDressesOffensiveHomosexualCostumesParadesParticipatingSweatersOutfitsGay PrideVestsSweater VestsPlay Dates Author:Chelsea Handler
“Look, Mrs. McGillicuddy, it's not my fault your son jumped out a dorm room window on Christmas eve. I've written over fifty books as a Columbia professor, all right? You don't do that by holding hands with every at-risk undergraduate who says he's homesick, or he's turning gay, or the dog ate his term paper. I write about Lincoln, and freedom, and great ideas. I don't always have time for students. It's like Dean Martin used to say: if you want to talk, go to a priest. Hey -- what's the gun for?” IfsWantWritingLooksBookIdeasHandsUsedTermRoomsWrittenRiskDogStudentsSonGayPaperGunWindowFaultsHeyFiftyPriestsProfessorsGreat IdeaDeanColumbiaHolding HandsYour SonHomesickChristmas EveUndergraduateDormsDorm RoomsTerm Paper Author:Eric Foner