“You know, when you do standup there are certain requirements that you have to do like you have to go on stage and when you get introduced you have to say "Hey,how ya doin'? How are ya?" I couldn't do it. It was false.” KnowsCertainStageLike YouGoes OnHeyRequirements Author:Larry David
“When I'm on stage, I'm not me playing me. I'm somebody else doing me. I could never go on stage and be like, "Hey, I'm Mike Tyson. My mother and father was in the sex industry." That's the politically correct way to say it, but I would really say, "My mother and father were pimps and whores. This is my life." I could never do that as Mike Tyson. Because I'd feel sorry for myself. But if I could be objective about it and be somebody else, portraying Mike Tyson, saying this story, then it's easy sailing.” IfsWayFeelsStoriesMotherFatherSexEasyStageGoes OnIndustrySorryObjectivesHeyIf I CouldSailingMikeMother And FatherPolitically CorrectTysonPortrayingDoing MePimp Author:Mike Tyson
“Hey, you know what, I've gotta go on that 'Letterman' show. That show is so lame.” KnowsShowsGoes OnHeyLameHey YouLetterman Author:Al Gore
“By shrewdly linking procreation to an act likely to make you stupid with excitement, God has seen to it that Life does indeed go on. It's possible, by the way, that this is why God's name comes up so often in the middle of the act; it's a salute to the author: Hey, whoever made this up - thanks.” WayDoeMadeNamesMiddleStupidGoes OnCome UpThanksHeyExcitementSaluteProcreation Author:Paul Reiser
“Whatever cleaning goes on on the planet, women do 99% of it. But see, women are not as proud of their 99% as men are of our one! We clean something up, we're gonna talk about it all year long. It might be on the news, you don't know. A woman could be out re-paving the driveway. Men actually have enough gall to run out on the porch and go "Hey baby? Man, it's hot as hell out here, ain't it! Look, don't worry about emptyin' that ashtray in the den, I done got it, all right? Did it for you, sweet pea. I'm gonna go take a nap now, all right?"” KnowsMenYearsLooksLongDoneEnoughMightWalksWorryHellPlanetsSweetBabyGoes OnProudNewsHotCleanHeyCleaningNapsPorchPeasDensDrivewayAshtraysPavingSweet Peas Author:Jeff Foxworthy
“Go out and make your own speeches. People need you. Go on TV. It can be done. After you speak up a few times, people say, "Hey, we got a crazy man in the community," and they'll begin talking to you.” PeopleMenNeedsDoneSpeakCommunityTalkingCrazyTvsGoes OnSpeechHeyNeed YouCrazy Man Author:Ray Bradbury
“All I can say is, hey, if you have fun doing what you do, if you have fun playing soccer, the creativity is just going to come as time goes on.” IfsI CanFunCreativityGoes OnHeySoccerHaving FunTime Goes OnPlaying Soccer Author:Freddy Adu