“If I go out with a jacket and a pair of trousers that my wife doesn't like, you can bet your ass it ain't in my wardrobe the following day. I say that it gets lost in the sky.” IfsLostWifeSkyLike YouFollowingMy WifeAssPairsJacketsWardrobeTrousers Author:Ozzy Osbourne
“I remember during my lifetime I would meet women, and it was almost like God would say to me, 'Now, this woman here is not the one you are going to end up with, but she is going to be a lot like this woman; look at this woman, study this woman.' And when my wife showed up, He was like, 'You recognize her now?'” LooksEndsRememberStudyWifeLike YouLifetimeMy Wife Author:Alec Baldwin
“You wanna hurt me? Go right ahead if it makes you feel any better. I'm an easy target. Yeah, you're right. I talk too much. I also listen too much. I could be a cold-hearted cynic like you, but I don't like to hurt people's feelings. Well, you think what you want about me. I'm not changing. I like me. My wife likes me. My customers like me. 'Cause I'm the real article. What you see is what you get.” PeopleIfsThinkingWantFeelsWellsRealFeelingsCausesEasyHurtToo MuchWifeLike YouColdYeahCustomersMy WifeWhat You WantLikesLike MeTargetArticlesHeartedAutomobileHurt MeCynicYou Hurt MeCold Hearted Author:John Candy
“My wife is like, You finally get your own TV show, you can have any kind of car you want and you get a darned truck. But my brother and I have the same kind of truck now.” WantKindShowsWifeCarBrotherTvsLike YouMy WifeMy BrotherTv ShowsTruck Author:Jeff Foxworthy
“I just had a device made that fits in your mouth and juts your jaw out like you have an underbite. It locks in that position to keep your throat passage open when you sleep. This is the sacrifice I make for my wife. It was either this device or me sleeping in the other room.” MadeSleepRoomsWifeSacrificePositionLike YouFitMouthsMy WifeDevicesThroatPassagesLocksSleeping In Author:Richard Gere
“My mom [comes] to see my shows because she's so proud, but I'm talking about losing my virginity, my ex-wife and our sexual problems, and she's sitting in the front row smiling. I just go, "Mom, you can't sit in the front row, you can't smile. You have to go way in the back and dress in black. If I see you it's like you're breaking in when I'm having sex with my wife. It's just wrong."” IfsWayShowsProblemSexBlackTalkingWifeFrontsLike YouMomProudLosingSittingDressesMy MomMy WifeExesVirginityHaving SexEx Wife Author:John Leguizamo
“You marry somebody you love, that you feel like you want to spend the rest of your life with, that you're excited to wake up with every morning if you enjoy spending the day with. Right now... my wife is my best friend, by far my best friend.” IfsWantFeelsEnjoyMorningWifeLike YouRight NowWake UpExcitedMy WifeSpendingEvery MorningMy Best FriendRest Of Your Life Author:Charlie Daniels