“Several years ago we had an intern who was none too swift. One day he was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," she told him. With that, the intern took his last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five blank copies.” YearsSaidGodUseLastsFivePiecesOne DayPaperYears AgoMachinesStupidityCopiesBlankSecretaryTypingCopiers Author:Dave Barry
“One day they will invent a time machine and, like the internet, it will be used primarily for boning.” UsedInternetOne DayMachinesTime Machine Author:Dana Gould
“Pass by the synthetic yarn department, then, with your nose in the air. Should a clerk come out with the remark that All Young Mothers In This Day and Age (why can't they save their breath and say "now"?) insist on a yarn which can be machine-washed and machine-dried, come back at her with the reply that one day, you suppose, they will develop a baby that can be machine-washed and -dried.” ShouldAgeYoungMotherAirBabyOne DayMachinesBreathsNosesDepartmentThis DayRemarksClerksKnittingSyntheticYarnYoung Mother Book:Elizabeth Zimmermann's Knitter's Almanac: The Commemorative Edition Source: Elizabeth Zimmermann's Knitter's Almanac: The Commemorative Edition