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Quote by Dave Barry

“Several years ago we had an intern who was none too swift. One day he was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," she told him. With that, the intern took his last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five blank copies.”

Quote by Dave Barry

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Dave Barry

Dave Barry is a renowned American humorist, born on July 3, 1947. His works are known for their unique humor style and satirical observations of everyday life. more

“At certain times each year, we journalists do almost nothing except apply for the Pulitzers and several dozen other major prizes. During these times you could walk right into most newsrooms and commit a multiple axe murder naked, and it wouldn't get reported in the paper because the reporters and editors would all be too busy filling out prize applications.”

Years Certain Walks Paper Majors Murder Busy Commit Naked Journalist Prize Editors Application Dozen Multiple Reporters Filling Too Busy

Author:Dave Barry

“Technically, Windows is an "operating system," which means that it supplies your computer with the basic commands that it needs to suddenly, with no warning whatsoever, stop operating.”

Needs Mean Computer Window Command Warning Supplies Operating Systems

Author:Dave Barry

“Babies on television never spit up on the Ultrasuede.”

Children Television Baby Spit Spit Up

Author:Erma Bombeck

“I was a closet pacifier advocate. So were most of my friends. Unknown to our mothers, we owned thirty or forty of those little suckers that were placed strategically around the house so a cry could be silenced in less than thirty seconds. Even though bottles were boiled, rooms disinfected, and germs fought one on one, no one seemed to care where the pacifier had been.”

Littles Care Mother House Rooms Cry My Friends Thirty Forty Bottles Seconds Closets Sucker Germs One On One Pacifiers

Book:Motherhood: The Second Oldest Profession

Source: Motherhood: The Second Oldest Profession

“I have always felt that too much time was given before the birth, which is spent learning things like how to breathe in and out with your husband (I had my baby when they gave you a shot in the hip and you didn't wake up until the kid was ready to start school), and not enough time given to how to mother after the baby is born.”

Source: The Erma Bombeck Collection: If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?, Motherhood, and The Grass Is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank

“I'm real ambivalent about [working mothers]. Those of use who have been in the women's movement for a long time know that we've talked a good game of "go out and fulfill your dreams" and "be everything you were meant to be." But by the same token, we want daughters-in-law who are going to stay home and raise our grandchildren.”

Quote by Dave Barry

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