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Quote by Dave Barry

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Dave Barry
Dave Barry

Dave Barry is a renowned American humorist, born on July 3, 1947. His works are known for their unique humor style and satirical observations of everyday life. more

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“At certain times each year, we journalists do almost nothing except apply for the Pulitzers and several dozen other major prizes. During these times you could walk right into most newsrooms and commit a multiple axe murder naked, and it wouldn't get reported in the paper because the reporters and editors would all be too busy filling out prize applications.”

YearsCertainWalksPaperMajorsMurderBusyCommitNakedJournalistPrizeEditorsApplicationDozenMultipleReportersFillingToo Busy
Author:Dave Barry
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“I was a closet pacifier advocate. So were most of my friends. Unknown to our mothers, we owned thirty or forty of those little suckers that were placed strategically around the house so a cry could be silenced in less than thirty seconds. Even though bottles were boiled, rooms disinfected, and germs fought one on one, no one seemed to care where the pacifier had been.”

LittlesCareMotherHouseRoomsCryMy FriendsThirtyFortyBottlesSecondsClosetsSuckerGermsOne On OnePacifiers
Book:Motherhood: The Second Oldest Profession
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“I have always felt that too much time was given before the birth, which is spent learning things like how to breathe in and out with your husband (I had my baby when they gave you a shot in the hip and you didn't wake up until the kid was ready to start school), and not enough time given to how to mother after the baby is born.”

EnoughKidsSchoolMotherGivenFeltBornToo MuchReadyBabyBirthHusbandShotsWake UpBreatheHipsEnough TimeMy BabyYour HusbandNot Enough Time
Book:The Erma Bombeck Collection: If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?, Motherhood, and The Grass Is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank
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“I'm real ambivalent about [working mothers]. Those of use who have been in the women's movement for a long time know that we've talked a good game of "go out and fulfill your dreams" and "be everything you were meant to be." But by the same token, we want daughters-in-law who are going to stay home and raise our grandchildren.”

KnowsWantLongHas BeensRealUseHomeDreamLawMotherGamesMovementLong TimeDaughterRaisesYour DreamsMeant To BeGrandchildrenIn-lawsTokensWere Meant To BeAmbivalentDaughter In Law
Author:Erma Bombeck
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“Motherhood is the second oldest profession in the world. It never questions age, height, religious preference, health, political affiliation, citizenship, morality, ethnic background, marital status, economic level, convenience, or previous experience.”

WorldAgePoliticalReligiousLevelsEconomicMoralityMotherhoodProfessionBackgroundsHeightCitizenshipPreferenceConvenienceAffiliationEthnic Background
Book:Motherhood: The Second Oldest Profession
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“It's [motherhood] the biggest on-the-job- training program in existence today.”

TodayJobsExistenceTrainingProgramMotherhoodJob TrainingTraining Programs
Book:The Erma Bombeck Collection: If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?, Motherhood, and The Grass Is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank
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“With boys you always know where you stand. Right in the path of a hurricane. It's all there. The fruit flies hovering over their waste can, the hamster trying to escape to cleaner air, the bedrooms decorated in Early Bus Station Restroom.”

KnowsTryingBoysPathAirWasteFruitStationsBusBedroomHurricanesCleanersHoveringWhere You StandHamstersRestroomFruit Flies
Book:The Erma Bombeck Collection: If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?, Motherhood, and The Grass Is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank
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