“Texas senator and tea party favorite Ted Cruz announced he's running for president. He pledged to lead America boldly forward into the 1950s.” RunningAmericaPresidentPartyTeaTexasSenatorsTea PartyCruz Author:Conan O'Brien
“People are questioning if Ted Cruz can legally run for president because he was born in Canada. And the last thing we want to do is pave the way for a President Bieber.” PeopleIfsWayWantRunningLastsPresidentBornCanadaQuestioningCruz Author:Conan O'Brien
“Texas Senator Ted Cruz said if elected president he would abolish the Department of Education. But not to worry. He promised to replace it with the less expensive Bureau of Book Learning.” IfsSaidBookPresidentWorryExpensiveDepartmentTexasSenatorsAbolishCruzBook Learning Author:Conan O'Brien
“Texas Senator Ted Cruz announced he is running for president. Ted Cruz was born in Canada, his father fled to the United States from Cuba, and yet Ted Cruz is against immigration. Isn't that odd?” StatesRunningFatherPresidentBornUnitedUnited StatesImmigrationOddCanadaTexasSenatorsCubaCruz Author:David Letterman
“Ted Cruz could be president of the United States. If you thought the Secret Service was drinking before” IfsStatesPresidentUnitedSecretUnited StatesDrinkingCruzSecret Service Author:David Letterman
“Republican Ted Cruz announced that he will run for president in 2016. So finally, Carnival is no longer the most dangerous cruise in America.” RunningAmericaPresidentDangerousRepublicanCruiseCruzCarnivals Author:Jimmy Fallon
“Ted Cruz raised over a million dollars after announcing that he's running for president. Which is why today RadioShack announced that it is also running for president.” RunningTodayPresidentMillionsDollarsRaisedMillion DollarsCruzAnnouncing Author:Jimmy Fallon
“After President Obama announced his support for net neutrality yesterday, Texas Senator Ted Cruz tweeted that 'Net neutrality is Obamacare for the Internet.' While Ted Cruz continues to be the Taylor Swift of not getting over Obamacare.” PresidentSupportInternetYesterdayTexasPresident ObamaSenatorsObamacareNeutralityCruzNet Neutrality Author:Jimmy Fallon