“Have you seen these Republican presidential candidates? I bet Obama is sorry now that he spent all that money on the new birth certificate.” BirthRepublicanSorryPresidentialCandidatesCertificatesPresidential CandidateBirth Certificate Author:David Letterman
“Republicans ... are conservatives who think it would be best if we faced the fact that people are no damned good. They think that if we admit that we have selfish, acquisitive natures and then set out to get all we can for ourselves by working hard for it, that things will be better for everyone. They are not insensitive to the poor, but tend to think the poor are impoverished because they won't work. They think there would be fewer of them to feel sorry for if the government did not encourage the proliferation of the least fit among us with welfare programs.” PeopleIfsThinkingFeelsHardFactsGovernmentWould BePoorFitRepublicanProgramSorrySelfishWelfareFewerProliferationInsensitiveWelfare Programs Author:Andy Rooney
“After I quote unquote came out as a Republican, one of my dearest gay friends said to me, 'You've got to go on a T.V. show and tell everyone you like gay people.' I was like, 'Why?' He was like, 'Because you're a Republican.' I was like, 'I'm sorry who's stereotyping who?'” PeopleSaidShowsGoes OnRepublicanGaySorryI'm SorryStereotypeGay PeopleGay Friend Author:Angie Harmon
“I'm sorry, dead people generally vote for Democrats rather than Republicans.” PeopleRepublicanVoteDemocratSorryI'm SorryDead People Author:Rudy Giuliani