“[President Bush should] quit hiding behind the Secret Service, come out and face the nation and explain his failure to protect the country.” ShouldCountryFacesNationsPresidentSecretBehindsProtectQuittingHidingPresident BushSecret Service Author:Peter Jennings
“Today's biggest headlines are stories about people who thought they were doing something that was secret: Jesse Jackson's secret girlfriend and child, Monica Lewinski's private meetings with the president and confidential girl talk with Linda Tripp. Just think of the news stories we've watched on television.” PeopleThinkingChildrenStoriesTodayGirlPresidentSecretTelevisionNewsMeetingsGirlfriendHeadlinesMonicaConfidentialNews StoriesGirl Talk Book:Letters From Home Source: Letters From Home
“President Obama has appointed a new head of the Secret Service. The new Secret Service director was so excited that he jumped over the White House fence for joy.” JoyHousePresidentWhiteSecretDirectorsExcitedWhite HousePresident ObamaFenceSecret Service Author:Conan O'Brien
“The Secret Service said there have been 40 fence-jumping incidents at the White House in the past five years. Half of them were intruders trying to get in. The other half was President Obama trying to get out.” TryingYearsHas BeensSaidPastHousePresidentWhiteSecretHalfFiveFive YearsWhite HousePresident ObamaFenceJumpingIncidentsOther HalfSecret ServiceIntruders Author:Conan O'Brien
“Ted Cruz could be president of the United States. If you thought the Secret Service was drinking before” IfsStatesPresidentUnitedSecretUnited StatesDrinkingCruzSecret Service Author:David Letterman
“President Obama broke a world record after he reached a million followers on Twitter in just five hours. The only guys not following Obama? His Secret Service agents. They lost track months ago.” WorldGuyLostPresidentHoursSecretMillionsRecordsFiveMonthsTrackFollowingAgentsBrokeFollowersPresident ObamaSecret ServiceWorld RecordsFollowers On Twitter Author:Jimmy Fallon
“People are being really picky about the upcoming election. I read that Americans do not want the next president to be a first-term senator, be over 65, or have a former president in the family. Then the Secret Service said, 'Hey, whoever slips through slips through. No promises.'” PeopleWantFirstsSaidNextPresidentTermSecretPromiseElectionHeyFormerSlipsBeing RealSenatorsPickySecret Service Author:Jimmy Fallon
“President Obama spent Election Day away from any press coverage, attending closed-door meetings inside the White House. But on the bright side, it is nice to see some doors actually closed at the White House. It's a whole new Secret Service security thing.” WholeHouseSidesPresidentWhiteSecretNiceDoorsSecurityElectionPressesMeetingsWhite HousePresident ObamaCoverageAttendingClosed DoorsElection DayBright SideSecret Service Author:Jimmy Fallon
“President Bush broke the law and lied to the American people when he unilaterally authorized secret wiretaps of U.S. citizens. But rather than focus on this constitutional crisis, Attorney General Gonzales is cracking down on critics of his friend and boss. Our nation is strengthened, not weakened, by those whistle-blowers who are courageous enough to speak out on violations of the law.” PeopleEnoughLawSpeakNationsPresidentSecretFocusCitizensCrisisCriticsBrokeCourageousBossLiedViolationPresident BushAttorneySpeaks Out Author:Anthony Romero
“Even if you assume presidents were democratically elected they still have no right to keep secrets from the American people.” PeopleIfsStillsPresidentSecretAssuming Author:Howard Zinn
“I don't make any secret of the fact that I'm closer to the Republicans than to the Democrats. But even under a President Hillary Clinton, US foreign policy toward Moscow would probably be more critical and confrontational. I hope it isn't too late for that.” FactsPresidentSecretPolicyRepublicanLateClintonDemocratCriticalToo LateForeign PolicyMoscowUs Foreign Policy Author:Garry Kasparov
“Once the day's work starts there is little chance to walk, to ride or to take part in a game. Taking walks or rides early in the morning is a lonesome business, and the inevitable Secret Service guard when the president leaves the White House grounds is not enlivening company.” LittlesGamesHousePresidentChanceWhiteWalksSecretCompanyMorningInevitableWhite HouseLonesomeSecret Service Book:Memoirs: The Cabinet and the Presidency, 1920-1933 Source: Memoirs: The Cabinet and the Presidency, 1920-1933
“John Edwards is a tragic case of a man who ran for President when he should have joined the Secret Service.” MenShouldPresidentSecretCasesShould HaveRanTragicServiceSecret Service Author:Andy Borowitz
“Congress is debating a kill switch that would allow President Obama to freeze all activity on the internet if there was a national emergency. The kill switch goes by the top-secret code name 'Microsoft Windows.'” IfsNamesPresidentSecretInternetActivityWindowCongressCodePresident ObamaEmergenciesMicrosoftFreezeTop Secret Author:Conan O'Brien
“People who run for president seriously and people who become president enter a bizarre secret society in which they have had an experience that none of us will ever have.” PeopleRunningPresidentSecretBizarreSecret Society Author:John Hodgman
“I never thought that Bill Clinton should be the president. When he was running to be the president of the United States, he said on over a hundred occasions, he said the following: He said, 'One of the great accomplishments while I was the governor of Arkansas, was to take my state in education from 50th to 49th.' And I thought, ' you know, Bill, you should keep that a secret.” KnowsShouldSaidStatesRunningPresidentUnitedSecretUnited StatesHundredBillsClintonFollowingOccasionsAccomplishmentGovernorsArkansasGreat Accomplishment Author:Lewis Black
“Secret Service agents detained an Iowa man with a gun who happened to be walking in a Des Moines park where President Bush was jogging. Were they out of their minds? White guys with guns put Bush in the White House.” MenMindGuyHousePresidentWhiteSecretHappenedWalkingGunAgentsParksWhite HousePresident BushIowaJoggingWhite GuysSecret ServiceDes Moines Author:Argus Hamilton