“As a dad, you are the Vice President of the executive branch of parenting. It doesn't matter what your personality is like, you will always be Al Gore to your wife's Bill Clinton. She feels the pain and you are the annoying nerd telling them to turn off the lights.” FeelsMatterLightPainTurnsPresidentWifeLike YouPersonalityDadBillsClintonVicesBranchesExecutivesAlsAnnoyingNerdGoreVice PresidentTurn OffExecutive Branch Author:Jim Gaffigan
“I must speak the truth, even at the risk of being ostracized by my fellow scribblers. In fact, anticipating their rage, I have already applied for a place in the Canada Council's witness-protection program. This because, much as it pains me to turn on my kind, I fear the time has come to admit that far too many celebrated writers were outrageous liars, philanderers, drunks, druggies, unsuitable babysitters, plagiarists, psychopaths, parasites, cowards, indifferent dads or moms and bad credit risks.” KindFactsPainTurnsSpeakRiskMomDadProgramFellowsCreditProtectionRageWitnessCanadaLiarsCowardIndifferentCouncilTurn-onOutrageousSpeak The TruthPsychopathParasitesBabysitterPhilandererDruggies Author:Mordecai Richler
“I grew up in northern California, where it was consistently in the hundreds in the summertime. My dad didn't think he should have to turn on the air conditioning when we had a swimming pool in our backyard; it was our built-in air conditioner.” ThinkingShouldTurnsAirGrewDadGrew UpBuiltShould HaveMy DadCaliforniaSwimmingPoolConsistentlyTurn-onConditioningBackyardsSummertimeSwimming PoolAir ConditioningNorthern CaliforniaAir Conditioner Author:Summer Sanders