“Several years ago my dear wife went to the hospital. She left a note behind for the children: "Dear children, do not let Daddy touch the microwave" - followed by a comma, "or the stove, or the dishwasher, or the dryer." I'm embarrassed to add any more to that list.” YearsChildrenLeftBehindsWifeYears AgoAddNotesDearListsHospitalsEmbarrassedDaddyStovesMicrowavesDishwashersDryers Author:Thomas S. Monson
“I stopped smoking weed for my kids. One day, we were driving and you could smell it from somewhere. My daughter asked what the smell was so I told her it was a skunk. Then she said, 'Sometimes Daddy smells like that!' to me and my wife. So I knew I had to quit.” SaidSometimesKidsWifeOne DayDaughterSmellMy WifeQuittingDrivingSmokingMy DaughterWeedDaddySmoking Weed Author:Mark Wahlberg
“You might be a redneck if you dated your daddy's current wife in high school.” IfsMightSchoolWifeHigh SchoolDatingCurrentsDaddyRedneckYou Might Be A Redneck IfYour DadRedneck Humor Author:Jeff Foxworthy