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Albert J. Bernstein Quotes

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All Being Right Defensiveness Nonverbal Communication Relationships Strategies Tantrums

Famous Albert J. Bernstein Quotes

“Life offers a cruel choice: you can be right or happy. Not both. This is true regardless of whom you may be involved with, but it is especially true if there is an emotional vampire in your life.”

Relationships Being Right

Book:Emotional Vampires: Dealing With People Who Drain You Dry

Source: Emotional Vampires: Dealing With People Who Drain You Dry

“Don't let a Narcissist, or any other kind of vampire, get away with nonverbal disapproval. Unspoken communication has much more power than mere words because it is ambiguous. If a Narcissist says you did something wrong, you can at least disagree. If he only hints at it, you are left wondering if what you're seeing really means what you think it does, or if the whole thing is somehow your fault, or whatever else you might be imagining. ... Translate rather than pointing the finger. This is the tricky part because it is subtle, but it will make all the difference. An unsubstantiated accusation of an internal state, like, "You're bored," invites defensiveness. A translation, like, "You keep looking at the clock; I'm assuming you're bored," is much harder to deny. A Histrionic might try, but other kinds of vampires will have to concede that they are indeed looking at the clock.”

Defensiveness Strategies Nonverbal Communication

Book:Emotional Vampires: Dealing With People Who Drain You Dry

Source: Emotional Vampires: Dealing With People Who Drain You Dry

“When you try to extinguish a tantrum by ignoring it, the first response you always get is called an extinction burst. People will do whatever it is you are trying to ignore louder, longer, and more enthusiastically. This might make you believe that ignoring them isn't working, but what it actually means is that it is.”

Book:Emotional Vampires: Dealing With People Who Drain You Dry

Source: Emotional Vampires: Dealing With People Who Drain You Dry