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“Although the association between women and cats who are standoffish and wrapped up in themselves is a longstanding one, there are, as we saw in Chapter 3, plenty of women who feel a need to love and not simply to be loved. (Does Freud restrict women to loving either themselves or children as extensions of themselves, but not men?) In any case, Freud introduces here a curious facet of love, which would seem to apply not only to men, which is that we human beings are attracted to people (women and children, for example) and animals (cats, for example) that show little or no interest in us. Are we then interested in anything that seems narcissistically wrapped up in itself (its interest in itself pointing the way for our own interest or desire?) or are we interested in these things precisely because they seem inaccessible? Do we pursue them because they shun us and wound our own narcissism? Do we pursue them because they seem the most valuable – valuable precisely because they are so difficult to win – because we suspect that we will never win them? Or do we pursue them because we identify with something about them or want to be like them?”

“Acredita-se que nós seres humanos compartilhamos dos mes­ mos e diversos sentimentos e reações ao mundo, que é o que pos­ sibilita existir entendimento, uns com os outros, e que constitui a fundação da nossa humanidade compartilhada. Na tentativa de combater certos estereótipos dos psicanalistas, como um cientis­ ta desinteressado, insensível, ao invés de um ser humano que tem vida e que respira, alguns terapeutas sugeriram que o analista de­ veria ser regularmente empático com o paciente, ressaltando o que eles têm em comum, para estabelecer uma aliança terapêutica sólida. Embora esses profissionais tenham boas intenções (por exemplo, acabar com a crença da objetividade do analista), as expressões de empatia podem enfatizar a humanidade em que vivem analista e paciente, de modo a encobrir ou superar aspectos humanos que não são compartilhados.”