“I miss the old pain I used to feel. The pains of a normal life.” PainDepressionPtsd Book:The Suicide Journal Source: The Suicide Journal
“I’ve lost a friend for reasons I don’t understand.” I raised my hand for effect. “Yes, my hand is healing, but I still can’t sleep at night. Do you have any idea how hard it is to fall asleep when you are in pain and all you can see is your friend dying while you sit there and do nothing?” PainDepressionShootingPtsd Book:The Suicide Journal Source: The Suicide Journal
“And I realized that a death in the family wasn’t permanent—that a new life could replace an old life, and that the world moved on. Families moved on.” DeathFamilyGrieving Book:The Suicide Journal Source: The Suicide Journal
“It actually felt kinda nice to have my mom grab my hand, but she was crazy if she thought I was going to talk to her.” LoveFamilyDepression Book:The Suicide Journal Source: The Suicide Journal
“And then she saw the journal I was working on, and she read the last page, and she started crying, and then we started hugging, and then I started crying, and it was this beautiful moment—honestly. I finally—finally—cried.” LoveFamilyDepressionHugSuicide Thoughts Book:The Suicide Journal Source: The Suicide Journal
“But the cottage wasn’t real. Yes, it existed, but it was still a fantasy. A mirage that lasted for the summer. And like all mirages, eventually it would disappear.” MiragesSummer Vacation Book:The Suicide Journal Source: The Suicide Journal
“I guess in my head I realized that this was a last straw kind of move—to link up with an actual drug dealer, but desperate times called for desperate measures.” AddictionDrugsDrug Dealer Book:The Suicide Journal Source: The Suicide Journal
“And then, out of nowhere, a dark thought entered my head. It just popped in there and put its feet up. I wondered what it would be like to kill myself. And I wondered how I might do it. And I remember feeling very scared—not about dying, but that this idea might someday take root.” Killing YourselfSuicide Thoughts Book:The Suicide Journal Source: The Suicide Journal