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Famous Charlie Bynar Quotes

“What do you mean? I don’t understand,” Hazel asked, wiping her tears. “Why couldn’t he apologize? All he had to do was say he was sorry and stop drinking. It’s not that difficult! But he did neither; he just abandoned me and all you kids.” “It’s harder than you think because we’re talking about two different kinds of apologies; one stems from guilt and the other from shame. Let me explain. Suppose I accidentally spilled coffee on Ethel’s favorite tablecloth. I’d immediately apologize for my mistake and wash it to make sure it didn’t leave a stain,” Shane said. “This type of apology is simple because it only draws into question a single accident. I’m guilty only of making a mistake. But things get much more complicated when an apology draws into question someone’s self-worth. Then we’re talking about shame—the feeling that I am bad rather than I did something bad.”

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“People who do the worst things often don’t apologize, because it requires them to face their actions, which causes them to question their self-worth. To avoid that, they turn a blind eye to their actions and superficially prop themselves up by blaming others because if they face their actions, their low selfworth places them on thin ice. The fear of falling through and drowning in profound shame and self-loathing causes them to deflect their responsibility out of self-preservation. It’s easier to blame others or abandon the situation altogether than face their actions.”

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“I’m not sure I understand,” Hazel said, holding back her anger. “You’re saying I’m supposed to forgive him even though he never said he was sorry?” “Yes, not out of respect for him, but out of respect for yourself. Don’t let any person or situation make you into someone you don’t want to be!”

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“I’m not sure I understand,” Hazel said, holding back her anger. “You’re saying I’m supposed to forgive him even though he never said he was sorry?” “Yes, not out of respect for him, but out of respect for yourself. Don’t let any person or situation make you into someone you don’t want to be!” Shane said. “Hasn’t he taken enough from you already? Let him carry the burden of his actions when he crosses over. . . . They’re not yours to carry, and holding on to them only robs you of your happiness. If you can forgive him, knowing he will own his actions during his life review when he crosses over, it will set you free from the heavy burden of being judge and jury.”

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“Charlie took her phone from her back pocket. She opened the 2009 report “Many Americans Mix Multiple Faiths” by the Pew Research Center, scrolled two-thirds of the way down the page, and showed it to Chris. It read: “Roughly three in ten Americans (29%) say they have felt in touch with someone who has died.” “I would have never guessed that,” Chris exclaimed. “That’s almost one in three people who say they’ve been in contact with someone dead!” “I was surprised too,” Charlie said. “And a man named Peter Fenwick, a neuropsychologist and former senior lecturer at King’s College who’s known for his near-death studies, says that deathbed visitors are common and usually involve first-degree relatives or spouses. He also said deathbed visions echo the person’s ‘cultural background’ and have been reported throughout history. What really surprised me was that he thinks the brain is a filter . . . that it filters out the greater whole, leaving only a tiny piece of what we refer to as our world and everything in it. And at the time of death, your consciousness separates from your brain, no longer needing the filter, and you merge with the cosmos—the whole—and become aware of all that is, was, and ever will be.”

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“All we need to worry about is reining our own horse, knowing others will be responsible if they find themselves waist-high in cockleburs. You can’t make people do the right thing. Sometimes, they need to get caught up in the cockleburs to learn their lessons.”

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“What Mrs. Wilson failed to understand was that the silver lining she offered was not the life buoy she intended it to be. Her words were rather like asking a drowning man if he wanted a ham and cheese sandwich—it was the last thing a drowning man needed.”

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“The woman pushed her toddler in a stroller as her young daughter, dressed in a red-and-white checkered dress, ran ahead to the mailboxes. Her ponytail, tied with a red ribbon, swayed from side to side. The young woman put her mail in the stroller’s pocket, then turned around and headed back the way they’d come. They looked so lovely that it made Charlie feel sad.”

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“One of my exit points could have been then, but I couldn’t do that to my mom, so I lived on borrowed time as long as I could for her sake. But by the time I was sixteen, my time was running out, and honestly, I was ready to go because my life was very difficult,” Isaac said. “Still, I was very worried about my mom.”

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“I’m glad he asked for forgiveness before he passed. It seems there are two sides to that coin: asking for forgiveness and forgiving someone who has wronged you. And even though our dad waited until he was on his deathbed before asking to be forgiven for the terrible things he did to us when we were growing up, I was grateful he acknowledged his trespasses. It allowed me to let go of my hate and forgive him. Like weeds, hate is easy to grow and difficult to get rid of, and it’s also a heavy burden to carry. Until I let it go, I didn’t realize how holding on to my hate had weighed me down and caused me great suffering.”

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“When we judge someone, we don’t see them for who they are. We see them as we’ve imagined them through our lens of judgment. It’s a false image of who they really are, and if we only look for the bad in someone, that’s what we’re likely to find.”

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“It may seem impossible to forgive him for these hideous crimes, but it’s easier if we separate the criminal and the crime. We can forgive the criminal and still hold him accountable for his crime.”

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“Sometimes people wait their entire life to find the courage to ask for forgiveness, but it’s never too late. Doing so helps us resolve our guilt toward the person we hurt, and it also helps resolve our misgivings toward those who hurt us. If we do that, the misgivings and guilt won’t follow us when we cross over,” Shane said. “And forgiving ourselves makes it easier to forgive others because when we refuse to forgive ourselves, we also refuse to forgive others—it’s two sides of the same coin.”

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“It seems that we’ve all been wrongfully judged, and every time it’s happened to me, I’ve thought that if the other person only took the time to understand the situation from my perspective, they would no longer judge me the same way. Unfortunately, I’ve also wrongfully judged others,” Hazel admitted, regret in her eyes. “It’s easy to throw judgment at someone who’s struggling down a difficult path, but walking that road is altogether a different thing.”

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“You know, the ego is very insecure. . . . It uses judgment as armor to protect itself. The ego judges others to shield itself from its own insecurities, which are based on fear. The ego, needing to be special, feeds on constant approval and needs enemies in order to be superior—it raises itself up by putting others down. . . . In other words, by judging others,” Ethel explained, gathering the ingredients for piecrust. “People have a never-ending fear-based dialogue with their egos, which is a source of much unhappiness. They’re afraid of not being good enough, being wrong, not being in control, losing their possessions, being shamed, being judged, not being smart enough, being ugly, being rejected, being destitute, being old and alone. And ultimately, they’re afraid of dying.”

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“First, and most importantly, a person must recognize their opponents: ego, fear, and judgment. Otherwise, those opponents remain in control. But once a person is aware of their opponents, they can disengage and step aside. Simply acknowledging these behaviors sets them off-balance and facilitates their fall.”

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“People prefer things to be finite. Not having answers makes people uncomfortable, and this leads them to fill in the gaps in their knowledge with speculations, which can be dangerous and deadly. Science is a much better path.”

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“Many things—especially the nonphysical—can’t be measured or understood through science. Take the unseen forces of guilt and shame. You can’t measure them, but they can drive people to destruction. The same is true about love. You can’t put your finger on it, but it can cause people to move mountains.”

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“When you have a gut feeling about something, don’t dismiss it. The first thirty seconds is your intuition, but then your rational brain kicks in and tries to override it. You must try to remember this and trust your gut feeling—your intuition.”

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“When people are overwhelmed with physical or emotional pain, it’s hard to get through to them, let alone when talking to someone who’s crossed over,” Shane said. “People put up defensive walls to protect themselves, but this makes it very difficult to reach them in their time of need. Very few people can hear us when we talk to them.”

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“The smallest unit of matter is an atom, which is made of particles. Einstein and Schrödinger theorized there was a connection between entangled particles, even though they couldn’t detect one. Scientists have recently proved their theory correct by photographing two particles of light that were entangled. Using a beam splitter, scientists sent two entangled particles of light down a tube where, at a junction, they were split apart and then photographed. Although they had been separated, both entangled particles were positioned at zero degrees, and they looked like mirror images of a crescent moon facing each other, proving that they were somehow still connected. Then the scientists repeated the experiment but changed the orientation of one entangled particle to forty-five degrees, and its entangled twin instantaneously corresponded, matching its forty-five-degree orientation. Again, they repeated the experiment, orienting one entangled particle ninety degrees and one hundred thirty-five degrees, and the entangled twin instantaneously corresponded regardless of the distance between the entangled particles!” “That would explain the connection people have with one another!” Isaac said. “Since we’re all made of a zillion particles, then some of our particles might be entangled with particles of people we love. This would explain why one entangled person sometimes gets a gut feeling or premonition about their entangled loved one. They might share an invisible connection, regardless of how far apart they are. They remain connected through entanglement—not even death can separate them! This must be the case with my mom and me.” “That would also explain the special bond I share with Mable,” Melba said, referencing her sister who was still alive. She smiled. “We’re entangled twins.” “That’s pretty awesome,” Shane said. “But, Isaac, if you’re right, then we could argue that we’re all connected through entanglement— not just some of us.”

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“Some ancient Egyptians slept in special rooms designed for the purpose of receiving divine revelations in their dreams from a deceased relative. Many visions received in dreams are also recorded in the Bible, especially in the books of Genesis, Kings, Daniel, Acts, Numbers, Job, and Matthew. And many Native Americans believe they receive visions from their ancestors in their dreams. There are countless other examples of ancestors communicating with their loved ones in this way throughout history. It worked for all of them. . . . It might work for you.”

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“She’s entered a dark place, and you must try to guide her through it,” Shane said. “On the mountain, your mom was facing physical danger, but now she’s facing relentless sorrow—a formidable opponent for even the strongest individuals. This is a defining point in your mom’s life. Either this situation will force her to find the wisdom she seeks, or she’ll fall prey to the darkness.” “That’s why before I crossed over, I left my mom a message in my journal: Everything is a gift, even pain, and with these gifts, we pursue knowledge and eradicate hate. I knew she’d be facing this nightmarish journey, and I hoped it would help give her the strength to overcome the challenges,” Isaac said. “It seems counterintuitive, but sometimes pain can lead people to surprising gifts. I learned this from being a special needs kid. When you’re ridiculed for your disabilities, it causes one to do a lot of soul searching. Physical pain is a warning sign to help prevent someone from injuring themselves, whereas emotional pain can force people out of their comfort zones and cause them to reevaluate their perspectives on issues they’re struggling with. In doing so, they can find valuable insights, clarity of mind, and wisdom. In this way, pain is a bridge to obtaining those gifts. When people are content, they have little reason to reevaluate their perspectives. As a result, they’re less likely to find the priceless gifts that are theirs for the taking. Although this concept is challenging, especially when we’re in the eye of the storm, sometimes we learn the most from difficult journeys. . . . It’s easier to appreciate once the storm has passed, but you already know this.”

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“People intersect many crossroads in their lifetime, and the crossroad your mom faces now will force her to either hold on to her preconceived view that death is the end or reevaluate it. If she chooses to hold on to her views, she will likely take her own life. But Charlie has one thing working to her advantage—love is greater than pain and darkness combined. Since her love for you is unwavering, hopefully, it will give her the strength she needs to reevaluate her views of death and obtain the wisdom she’s seeking—that death is a transition, not an end. If she succeeds, Charlie will know that nothing can truly separate the two of you! She’ll emerge from the darkness, able to find a renewed purpose in life.”

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“Like a raindrop making its way from a cloud to a stream to a river and finally becoming one with the ocean. Our souls remain singular and, at the same time, become one with the sea of energy of all that was, is, and ever will be—we’re part of the whole.”

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“As their angels, we can help guide them by giving them signs, insights, and intuitions, but ultimately, it’s their decision what they do with that information. They can choose to heed the calling—advice we give them—or not. But whatever situation they’re facing, trying and falling short is far better than not trying at all, because either way, their actions or inactions reveal their motives—their intentions—which, of course, they’ll review after they cross over.”

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“Energy is a potential—it remains dormant without time. Therefore, time is the greatest force in nature because, without time, nothing happens. And regardless of whether time is linear or nonlinear, as it is here, it doesn’t matter. The point remains the same: No matter what order you put the past, present, and future in, without time, none of it happens!”

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“People prefer finite ideas. They’re easier to understand, and having all the loose ends nicely wrapped up makes people feel more comfortable . . . more in control. Certain. It makes them feel less vulnerable to the unknown. The infinite, on the other hand, makes them more likely to tie themselves into knots, trying to define that which cannot be defined rather than accept an unknown. Still, energy, space, and time aren’t finite; they’re infinite. They can’t be wrapped up nicely in a box.”

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“I wish they knew that it makes it much easier for us to receive their messages when they ask us directly for guidance. It makes it easier to help and possibly even to prevent them from making bad mistakes.”

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“In the end, my mom, who was my sister at the time, and I decided the coin represented two sides of one lesson, neither good nor bad, just two different experiences to learn from. Even more importantly, the coin symbolized that since we’re two sides of the same coin, nothing can truly divide us—there’s no coin with one side!”

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“If energy were a liquid, it would pour from this jar and ripple through four-dimensional space-time—the three dimensions of space plus time—which of course won’t happen, since it’s not a liquid. However, since energy does follow a person’s intentions, their actions do ripple through space-time. Therefore, it’s best to be mindful of our actions, as they have a big impact on others.”

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“People often numb their pain with drugs and alcohol, but they’re not always aware that they’re also numbing their ability to feel pleasure, excitement, and love. Substances don’t selectively dull emotions—they dull them across the board. When you live life fully, you have front-row seats to both pain and pleasure, which honestly sounds a little rough. The key is to take one step back—to not identify with the mind or body—and then experience those emotions while remaining unattached to them. That way, a person can experience life fully without suffering and also gain the clarity of mind to choose wisely. Of course, all that’s easier said than done.”

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