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Francis Weller Biography

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“Silence is a practice of emptying, of letting go. It is a process of hollowing ourselves out so we can open to what is emerging. Our work is to make ourselves receptive. The organ of receiving is the human heart, and it is here that we feel the deep ache of loss, the bittersweet reminders of all that we loved, the piercing artifacts of betrayal, and the sheer truth of impermanence. Love and loss, as we know so well, forever entwined.”

Love Loss Grief Silence Letting Go

Book:The Wild Edge of Sorrow: Rituals of Renewal and the Sacred Work of Grief

Source: The Wild Edge of Sorrow: Rituals of Renewal and the Sacred Work of Grief

“Silence and solitude allow us to move beyond thought and into our embodied experience. Grief is felt, sensed in the viscera of our bellies, the inner walls of our chests, the curve of our shoulders, the heaviness in our thighs. Grief is registered in our sinews and muscles. It feels laboured, as though a great weight has settled on our chest or a heaviness has entered our bones. We know grief by its felt experience; it is tangible. It is here, in our sighing and sensing body, that we encounter the terrain of sorrow.”

Loss Grief Silence Sorrow Solitude

Book:The Wild Edge of Sorrow: Rituals of Renewal and the Sacred Work of Grief

Source: The Wild Edge of Sorrow: Rituals of Renewal and the Sacred Work of Grief

“The work of the mature person is to carry grief in one hand and gratitude in the other and to be stretched large by them. How much sorrow can I hold? That’s how much gratitude I can give. If I carry only grief, I’ll bend toward cynicism and despair. If I have only gratitude, I’ll become saccharine and won’t develop much compassion for other people’s suffering. Grief keeps the heart fluid and soft, which helps make compassion possible.”

Grief Growing Up Adulthood

Author:Francis Weller

“Deep in our bones lies an intuition that we arrive here carrying a bundle of gifts to offer to the community. Over time, these gifts are meant to be seen, developed, and called into the village at times of need. To feel valued for the gifts with which we are born affirms our worth and dignity. In a sense, it is a form of spiritual employment - simply being who we are confirms our place in the village. That is one of the fundamental understanding about gifts: we can only offer them by being ourselves fully. Gifts are a consequence of authenticity; when we are being true to our natures, the gifts can emerge.”

Community Dignity Worth Gifts Spiritual Gifts

Book:The Wild Edge of Sorrow: Rituals of Renewal and the Sacred Work of Grief

Source: The Wild Edge of Sorrow: Rituals of Renewal and the Sacred Work of Grief

“The territory of grief is heavy. Even the word carries weight. Grief comes from the Latin word 'gravis,' meaning 'heavy,' from which we also get grave, gravity and gravid. We use the word gravitas to speak of a quality in some people who are able to carry the weight of the world with a dignified bearing. And so it is, when we learn to carry our grief with dignity.”

Book:The Wild Edge of Sorrow: Rituals of Renewal and the Sacred Work of Grief

Source: The Wild Edge of Sorrow: Rituals of Renewal and the Sacred Work of Grief

“At the core of this grief is our longing to belong. This longing is wired into us by necessity. It assures our safety and our ability to extend out into the world with confidence. This feeling of belonging is rooted in the village and, at times, in extended families. It was in this setting that we emerged as a species. It was in this setting that what we require to become fully human was established. Jean Liedloff writes, "the design of each individual was a reflection of the experience it expected to encounter." We are designed to receive touch, to hear sounds and words entering our ears that soothe and comfort. We are shaped for closeness and for intimacy with our surroundings. Our profound feelings of lacking something are not reflection of personal failure, but the reflection of a society that has failed to offer us what we were designed to expect. Liedloff concludes, "what was once man's confident expectations for suitable treatment and surroundings is now so frustrated that a person often thinks himself lucky if he is not actually homeless or in pain. But even as he is saying, 'I am all right,' there is in him a sense of loss, a longing for something he cannot name, a feeling of being off-center, of missing something. Asked point blank, he will seldom deny it.”

Community Loss Grief Sorrow Longing Connection Disconnection

Book:The Wild Edge of Sorrow: Rituals of Renewal and the Sacred Work of Grief

Source: The Wild Edge of Sorrow: Rituals of Renewal and the Sacred Work of Grief

“We will, in truth, spend many of our hours alone with our grief. In the cover of our solitude, we encounter another layer in our apprenticeship with sorrow. Here we are asked to hold an extended vigil with loss in the well of silence, slowly ripening our sorrow into something dense and gifting to the world. Our ability to drop into this interior world and do the difficult work of metabolizing sorrow is dependent on the community that surrounds us. Even when we are alone, it is necessary to feel the tethers of concern and kindness holding us as we step off into the unknown and encounter the wild edge of sorrow.”

Community Loss Grief Sorrow Solitude

Book:The Wild Edge of Sorrow: Rituals of Renewal and the Sacred Work of Grief

Source: The Wild Edge of Sorrow: Rituals of Renewal and the Sacred Work of Grief