The Unteachables

“Only ten months until June.”

SchoolTeacherJuneBurnoutMiddle SchoolSchool YearsUnteachable

Book:The Unteachables

Source: The Unteachables

♥0Copy quoteCreate image

ftpin@

“I stroll over to the flaming wastebasket and empty the giant cup of coffee onto the bonfire, which goes out with a sizzle. Silence falls in room 117. “Good morning,” I announce, surveying the room. “I’m your teacher, Mr. Kermit.”

SchoolFireTeacherCoffeeClassroomUnteachableRoasting Marshmallows

Book:The Unteachables

Source: The Unteachables

♥0Copy quoteCreate image

ftpin@

“You ought to be ashamed of yourself!” he accuses Coach Slattery. “You send these kids out there to be tackled and elbowed and hit with hockey sticks. And when they get injured, you abandon them?”

LifeTruthSchoolSportsInjuryAbandonCoachAthelete

Book:The Unteachables

Source: The Unteachables

♥0Copy quoteCreate image

ftpin@

“Well, maybe you can keep it. But you definitely have to put in a catalytic converter.” “It’s on my list,” I assure her. “Right after a new floor for the back seat, just in case I ever have passengers.” Parker peers into the back. “Whoa, is that the ground?” “Air-conditioning,” I supply, tight-lipped. “Old-school.”

Breaking DownExcusesLolAir ConditioningOld CarFloorCatalytic Converter

Book:The Unteachables

Source: The Unteachables

♥0Copy quoteCreate image

ftpin@

“I’ve never ruined anyone’s life, but apparently it’s almost as hard on the messer as it is on the messee.”

Life LessonAwwMesserHe ChangedMesseeOnly If They Re GuiltySomeone Confirm

Book:The Unteachables

Source: The Unteachables

♥0Copy quoteCreate image

ftpin@

“It would have been better to finish 150th than to come so close to winning only to take an L.”

WinningRelatableSecond PlaceThey Didnt WinWhat I Feel Sometimes

Book:The Unteachables

Source: The Unteachables

♥0Copy quoteCreate image

ftpin@

“Kid, that was something!” the service chief exclaims admiringly. “If the lift system loses power, can we count on you to pick up cars on your shoulders?”

ShouldersKidUnrealisticWith Great PowerStronComes Great Responsibility

Book:The Unteachables

Source: The Unteachables

♥0Copy quoteCreate image

ftpin@

“Rahim is a little tricky, but I think of him as Birdman, because he has really big ears that could easily expand to wings if he gets bitten by a radioactive canary. Crazy, I know, but in comics, that kind of thing happens all the time. Anyway, I can always switch him to Sleeping Beauty. He’s not that beautiful, but he is that sleeping”

EarsConnectionLolClassificationSleeping BeautyBirdman

Book:The Unteachables

Source: The Unteachables

♥0Copy quoteCreate image

ftpin@

“I cheer when Barnstorm is introduced. I’ve never known anybody on a team before. He waves a crutch in our direction, and a few of the other kids clap too. Then Rahim falls asleep. His head slumps over and conks the girl sitting next to him. We get kicked out”

SupportStudentsGymSchool LifePep RallyDummy ClassLol Kicked Out

Book:The Unteachables

Source: The Unteachables

♥0Copy quoteCreate image

ftpin@

“Plus, Barnstorm is complaining about his mobility with only one crutch. “Then you shouldn’t have busted the other one over Elaine’s head,” Aldo tells him. “It was her back, not her head,” Barnstorm retorts. “I saved her life, man. She’d better remember that while deciding who her next victim’s going to be.”

LolHeadIntentionsBackGood DeedCrutchDid He Really

Book:The Unteachables

Source: The Unteachables

♥0Copy quoteCreate image

ftpin@

“It’s not just for little kids,” Miss Fountain corrects. “It’s for everybody. Positive reinforcement is something you never outgrow. Think of how much better our world would be if national leaders would only sit in a circle and be kind and civil to one another.”

WorldRealCircleCivilPositive ReinforcementNational LeadersKindergarten Teacher Vibes

Book:The Unteachables

Source: The Unteachables

♥0Copy quoteCreate image

ftpin@

“There also seems to be a connection between his volume control and the gas pedal of the SUV. The louder he howls, the faster Stepmonster drives.”

BabyMomSpeedDrivingConnectionVolumeLolSuvStepmom

Book:The Unteachables

Source: The Unteachables

♥0Copy quoteCreate image

ftpin@

“I see you on television. You’ll jump through hoops to provide fast relief from painful athlete’s foot fungus.” “That’s not me,” I tell her. “I get you a great deal on a new or used vehicle.”

AthleteLolSenior CitizenDealCommercialDementuaFoot FunusWrong Ad

Book:The Unteachables

Source: The Unteachables

♥0Copy quoteCreate image

ftpin@

“We’re free to spend—or not spend—our puffy-tails however we choose. That’s how a market economy works.”

LolMarket EconomySpendPuffy TailNot Spend

Book:The Unteachables

Source: The Unteachables

♥0Copy quoteCreate image

ftpin@

“Everybody hates something,” I retort. “I don’t like lima beans—am I the Grinch too?” “It’s not just what you hate; it’s why you hate it,” Mateo replies seriously. “Indiana Jones hates snakes because he’s afraid of them. Superman hates kryptonite because it’s his weakness. The Wicked Witch of the West hates water because it makes her melt. But Mr. Kermit and the Grinch are both haters for the same reason—noise.”

HateWiseDeepTeensMiddle GradeLessonWhyWhat

Book:The Unteachables

Source: The Unteachables

♥0Copy quoteCreate image

ftpin@