“Exercising will builds esteem from within through action on one's own behalf; it disproves the premise that only another person can provide it. The result, long in coming and always worth the effort, is the experience of authentic agency in your own life, a sense of self that cannot be destroyed because it is not dependent on anyone else.” MotivationalSelf EsteemResilienceWillWillpowerWill Power Book:The Golden Condom: And Other Essays on Love Lost and Found Source: The Golden Condom: And Other Essays on Love Lost and Found
“There are many ways to become mistress (or master) of one's fate after a betrayal, but they all have things in common: conscious effort and a fighting spirit, embodied in what I call 'the Affirmative No.' The Affirmative No incorporates self-enhancing outrage, independence, and courage. It is a stance through which a traumatized person actively proclaims her will by rejecting the role of victim.... Unable to change our predicaments, we actively changed their meaning and our relationship to them, and in the process, we discovered that we could exert power when we thought we had none.” MotivationalVictimBetrayalWillWill PowerVictimhood Book:The Golden Condom: And Other Essays on Love Lost and Found Source: The Golden Condom: And Other Essays on Love Lost and Found